Yet somehow you thought a piece of jewelry and rose petals would suffice as your quota of romance?
I was an idiot. Clearly. I’d prided myself on not being like my brother. I would never marry a woman I couldn’t love just for a child. Would never find myself in that position. And I hadn’t, because my feelings for Sage far exceeded anything Seth had ever felt for Marjorie.
Did Sage know that? No. Because I’d assumed we could move expeditiously and do what looked best for appearances, then take the rest as it came.
Coward.
Sage didn’t give two shits about appearances. I’d been wrong in not seeing that before. I’d called her strong when I gave her the bow necklace I’d chosen for her, but I hadn’t begun to acknowledge her depths. She was just like that knot. Resilient. Incapable of breaking. Holding her ground no matter what pulled at her or from how many sides.
Her love for our child rocked me to my core. Already, she was an incredible mother, and the baby hadn’t even been born yet. It made me want to work harder to be worthy of her. Of them.
I had screwed up, plain and simple. I had to prove to her how I felt. Showing her what she meant to me was so much more important than empty actions. I’d believed she would understand how much I cared for her and the baby from what I did. Waking up beside her, going to sleep at her side at night. My willingness to share my life with her, to be there for our child, seemed like it should be enough.
It wasn’t. Not by miles.
Obviously, I needed some schooling. My first inclination was to immediately fix things. To order up some grand-scale romantic gesture that would make up for my colossal flub. But that wasn’t the answer either. Sage wanted the romance, yet she was far more practical than I’d given her credit for. I couldn’t just phone it in with a generic one-size-fits-all happy ending.
I had to risk myself. Put everything on the line, even knowing there was a good chance it wouldn’t be enough.
At the root of things, I knew my feelings for her, and how they were growing by the day. I didn’t know hers for me. Sexual attraction only went so far. But I wasn’t giving up. This wasn’t just about claiming my child—it was about claiming my woman too.
Mine, both of them.
For the better part of a week, I gave her space. It killed me not to see her or to ask all the questions that I’d laughed at when it came to my brother’s incessant pestering of his wife. He’d hovered over Ally, concerned about every step of her pregnancy, and I’d rolled my eyes. I’d heard of helicopter parents, but before the kid was even born? C’mon, man. And he’d told me one day, you’ll understand.
I did now.
But I bided my time. I had a brand-new nephew to spoil. Now being around babies had taken on a significance, considering the fact I would have my own in the not-too-distant future.
“You’re a natural with Alexander,” Ally murmured a few days later as I rocked the blissfully sleeping baby. The fates had taken pity on me, and he had a full belly thanks to Ally nursing him before I arrived. Seth was building a snowman with Laurie in the backyard, so for a few minutes, the house was quiet.
“What’s not natural is naming an innocent child Alexander when his last name is Hamilton. Do you want him to be mercilessly teased in school?”
She rolled her eyes at me as she refolded the baby blanket I’d brought over for the kid. “It’s a distinguished name. Your father loved it.”
“I’m sure he did. But Alexander’s peers are going to make him a laughingstock.”
“Half of his peers probably won’t even know who the original Alexander Hamilton was. This is the smartphone generation, you know.”
“Our Alexander’s peers will not be that ignorant. Surely he will only attend the best schools.” I sifted my fingers through his thatch of dark hair. “Do you think his eyes will stay blue?”
“I don’t know. I hope so, but sometimes a baby’s eye color changes.”
“Laurie was a lot fussier than he seems to be.” As if he’d heard me, he opened his big blue eyes and yawned. A big yawn that made me laugh. “You’re awfully tired, huh, buddy? It’s hard being an adorable baby and having everyone fawn all over you.”
“He’s sleeping easy for you. He’s not always that content when we hold him. Maybe it’s just that natural thing of yours I mentioned. Baby whisperer. Handy skill to have, considering future events.” Ally smiled serenely at me when I gave her a pointed glance.
Sage must’ve told her about our child. Yet neither of us were going there. We’d just tiptoe around the situation until we had no choice. Or more accurately, until I was certain without a doubt that Sage didn’t mind it being discussed. After my colossal fuck-up of the other day, I wasn’t assuming anything anymore.
“You weren’t planning on having a child last year. Amazing how time changes things.”
“Time and a persistent Hamilton.” She leaned forward and brushed her fingers over Alexander’s soft cheek. “I’ve found that a Hamilton man who puts his mind to a task can accomplish just about anything.”
I frowned. Was that her way of pushing me to go after Sage? Could that be possible, considering both she and my brother had acted like the idea of us having intercourse was akin to the devil lying with the Virgin Mary?
“Is that so?”
“It is. It’s also true that sometimes Hamilton men make wrong-headed assumptions. And then persist in them far too long.”