Bentley showed me where the keg was, which his older brother had gotten for us. I got a red cup and filled it.
Apparently, Bentley wasn’t lying about hanging out. We were together the whole night, laughing and talking to other people and each other. Caden had found me numerous times—Abby and Liz with him—but I told him I was chilling with Bentley every time he tried to get me to go with him. I didn’t want to have to mess around with Liz.
I could tell Caden was confused and maybe a little pissed, but it was getting so damn hard to fake it.
“Come with me for a minute,” Bentley whispered close to my ear. My dick got a little excited again, and I nodded.
He led me into the house. The music was loud, and there were even more people there, but no one was paying any attention to us. We went upstairs, which was quieter.
“I thought you said it was off-limits up here,” I joked.
Bentley wagged his eyebrows. “Yeah, but it’s my house.” He led me to a room, and the second he opened the door, I realized it was his. “You like video games, yeah?”
I nodded, my tongue suddenly feeling too big for my mouth and making it hard to talk. This was…different. I didn’t know how I could tell, but it was.
We played two fighting games, sitting on the floor in front of the TV. I’d finally started to relax when I beat him, and said, “Hell yes! I’m the fucking best!”
He smiled at me, and I grinned back, and then…holy shit, he was leaning forward. Bentley’s lips pressed against mine, slightly chapped. I jerked away, heart thudding in my throat.
“What are you— Why did you— I’m not…” But I was. I so fucking was.
His eyes widened, panicked and darting anywhere but at me. “Sorry. I thought… I don’t know why I thought…”
But he was right, and I wanted to kiss him, wanted to kiss him more than I’d ever wanted to kiss any of the girls. This time, it was me who leaned in, me pressing my lips to his. I got further than he did, teasing the seam of his lips with my tongue. Bentley let me in, and my whole world burst open.
This was so, so, soooo right.
He lay back on the floor, and I went down on top of him. We made out until my jaw hurt, until I thought I was going to embarrass myself and bust a load in my pants.
“A?” …was said in a room that was supposed to be empty other than Bentley and me, and no one called me that except…
I rolled off Bentley, pushing away from him—he didn’t lock the door? Why the fuck hadn’t he locked the damn door?—to see Caden standing in the doorway.
Caden’s gaze went back and forth between me and Bentley before settling on me. I’d never seen that look in his chocolate eyes. Angry…confused…detached…sad.
“Caden,” I said, my voice breaking. Blood rushed through my ears. I could hardly hear, hardly think anything except this was it. I was going to lose him. I was going to lose the most important person in my life. I’d rather lie about who I was forever if the alternative was losing Caden. “It wasn’t… I’d been drinking.”
“Hey, fuck you,” Bentley said.
Caden just shook his head and walked away.
It took me a minute to realize what happened. I’d kissed my first guy, and it had been…amazing. And now Caden hated me. I was broken and hurt, and…I’d wanted it to be Caden I’d been kissing. I liked guys, yeah, but I loved Caden.
“I’m sorry, Bentley.”
I scrambled to my feet and ran after Caden. I was at the top of the stairs when I saw him head out the front door. I raced for him again, went straight for my car, chest tight and breaths fast and hard.
He was there…sitting in the driver’s seat, his forehead against the steering wheel. I relaxed, tried to tell myself we were okay because he’d gone to the car to wait. He was going to drive because I’d been drinking and he hadn’t.
My hands shook as I opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. “Caden…”
“Not right now.” I tossed him the keys from my pocket. He started the car, heading for home.
I’m gay. I’m gay and I love you. Don’t leave me.
We didn’t talk the whole way home. Caden parked on the street, down the road from our houses.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I tried to pretend, but it was so damn hard.”
“What?” he asked, pain in his voice. “You think I give a shit that you’re gay? I don’t care about that. I just… You didn’t tell me. You didn’t trust me.”
“I trust you. There’s no one in the world I trust more than you.”