And he delivers, bringing me to another orgasm before his back arches and he collapses on top of me with release. He pants wildly as I massage his shoulders.
After several minutes, he lifts his head. “I think that qualifies as enough to make you sleep naked.”
It does, and I do. That night and every night we’re together after.
My parents join us for dinner at least once a week for the next month. Battle and I even have them over to meet Evelyn, James, and Erinn. My mother was an elementary school teacher before she had children, and recognizes Erinn’s place on the Spectrum before I quietly tell her.
She would later explain to Battle about how the school district is required to provide Erinn transportation, should they choose to move her to another school. It took some doing, but Battle was able to convince Evelyn it was the best thing for Erinn.
The arrangement and the school have been a miracle. There are other girls at the school who Erinn relates to and has made friends with. During the two short weeks she’s been there, I’ve seen a huge change in her attitude and her effort in school.
Erinn’s happy.
I visit Wyatt every day he’s in the hospital. This morning, he’s finally being released. Both his legs are still in casts and he’s in a wheelchair, but he’s thrilled to get out of the hospital room.
Wyatt’s parents and I gather in the waiting room, discussing the details of Wyatt’s future medical needs with his doctor. He has months of physical therapy to look forward to and isn’t happy about depending on other people.
Battle’s incredibly understanding when I agree to help one day a week with taking Wyatt to his appointments to ease the burden on his parents. While Wyatt’s father embraces my offer, his mother won’t even look at me. Seeing her once a week will be uncomfortable, but I ignore my feelings for Wyatt’s sake.
Battle holds my hand on the drive back to his house, brushing my knuckles with his thumb. While he may not admit to it, him being here today, his knowing how much I need to be there for Wyatt are signs of a man in love.
When doubt about my future with Battle threatens to rain on my happiness, I think of these moments. He
hasn’t said the words “I love you”, and I haven’t asked. We’ve been together so long now, I have to believe he’s as invested as I am. The expression shown in how he treats me, and in my heart, are where it counts, I know he loves me. I don’t need to hear the words. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
As I say goodbye to Battle and leave for work, I tell myself that I have enough for now.
I’m with a client when I receive a frantic call from Battle. His mother collapsed and was admitted to the hospital. He needs me to pick up Erinn from school. My boss covers the meeting for me, and I leave the office beside myself with worry.
The last month I’ve been so engrossed with helping Wyatt, I haven’t spent a lot of time with Evelyn. The few times I have were difficult as she’s been weak and mostly confined to her bed. Today could be a day that changes our lives and my relationship with Battle forever. I have to believe there’s still a chance for her to beat this cancer. Not believing is giving up, and I’m not prepared to do that. Battle and Erinn need me to be the strong one.
Erinn greets me with a sad smile. She sits in the car and remains quiet, until I pass the turn for Battle’s house.
Regardless of how many times I insist that we have to go to the hospital, she shouts I’m going the wrong way. My emotions are all over the place—terrified that this may be the last day we have with Evelyn, and I finally snap, yelling at her to be quiet and that I’ve had enough. She silences momentarily, but then I hear her cry, which makes me cry. I feel horrible, but I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry, which she doesn’t respond to.
She flat out refuses to get out of the car when I park at the hospital. I open her door and stand next to the passenger seat, waiting. My patience is nonexistent and I want to scream. I stay calm and say, “Erinn, please get out of the car and come inside.”
“No,” she shouts, her arms hugging her body.
I’m reaching a point where I want to rip her from the car and drag her inside, when it hits me. Erinn has an unusual sense. She knew Katie was pregnant, and Evelyn had shared with me she knew the cancer was back because Erinn told her. She didn’t have any symptoms, but had made the doctor’s appointment anyway. Sure enough, Erinn had been right. I wouldn’t go as far as to say she’s psychic, but her senses are clearly much stronger than most people.
Erinn isn’t resisting me. She denying what she thinks is happening to her mother. I’m not prepared to combat her intuition, because I’m terribly afraid she might be right.
“Erinn, honey, please come inside.”
“No. Mom’s gonna die today,” she says the words with bone-chilling disconnect. “I’m not goin’ inside.”
I know Erinn feels emotions, but her brained tuned real life out the moment I picked her up as a means of protection. Empathy is on hold. I have no idea how to handle this situation. I’m ready to sit in the middle of the hospital parking lot and give up.
“Do you need some help?”
I recognize James’s voice and turn around. “Yes. I don’t how, but she knows somethins’ wrong with Evelyn. She’s tuned out completely.”
“How ‘bout we trade places then?” he suggests, through a concerned laugh. “I’m not havin’ any luck gettin’ through to Battle, either.”
I smile, and thank him as my heart grows heavy with concern. I’ve dreaded this day for as long as I’ve been with Battle. I pray to God, for purely selfish reasons, to please not take Evelyn today. I don’t want to lose her. I fear when she goes, so will Battle. He and Erinn need more time. I need more time.
The hospital reeks of antiseptic as I roam the halls. White coated employees enter and exit a door marked restricted access. At their feet, slumped against the wall, I find a defeated Battle. His eyes coated with tears meet mine. “She’s gonna die.”