He nodded at the closet. “Show me what you’ve got for gear.”
Into my tiny closet I went. I didn’t have much stuff to sort through. Carly’s belongings already overflowed my meager space and I knew she hadn’t brought everything. But it was enough to make me wonder if she intended to go back upstate at all.
If maybe our new life was starting sooner than I’d planned.
I dragged out my fencing top and the protector I’d mentioned. The plastic was covered by the ugliest gray plaid I’d ever seen. Velcro strips wrapped around the back. I bit my lip and turned to him, trying to judge if he could wear it without seeming as if I was ogling his body.
Who could blame me for ogling a little? Especially now that I knew what he looked like half-naked? All that taut tanned skin stretched over perfectly toned muscles. And that tattoo that somehow matched mine, as if we’d been created as a set and all these years never knew it.
I rubbed my bleary eyes. What I needed was sleep, not to be jabbing at the guy I’d so foolishly had sex with. I’d done that enough already, minus the deadly weapon.
“Never mind your piece of government cheese. I’ll use this.” He picked up his coat from where I’d flung it over my bedpost. He shot me a grin over his shoulder. “It’ll act as added incentive for you not to kill me. At least you’ll want to protect the jacket.”
It hurt me to smile. Physically hurt. My split lip still hadn’t fully healed yet, but that wasn’t why. I didn’t get why things had to be this way. How he could be—well, the way he was. He had his flaws like anyone else. Probably big ones. We barely knew each other, but I already knew he had a hot temper and a propensity for violence. Just like I did.
I also knew he could be gentle and that he tried to take care of me in small ways he didn’t think I’d notice. The coat, the soaping in his tub. The way he’d followed me home to make sure I was okay after he’d said more than he intended. I wasn’t worth much. I didn’t have any illusions about that. I hadn’t been mad at him for saying those words. They were true.
Sometimes I forgot for a minute or two. Especially when I was with him. He was the reason my stupid traitorous heart kept pushing at the walls of my chest in a futile bid to get out of its damn cage.
I wanted to be a woman. I wanted to laugh with a guy, and hold hands, and have sex. I wanted to feel things, even if they hurt. I had no idea how to be in a regular relationship, but I wanted to try. There was so much more to life than what I’d experienced, and in only a few days, Fox had given me a big, delicious taste.
Now I was so hungry for more that I couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand myself, because I was broken. If I hadn’t been, maybe I could’ve abandoned the fight idea and just gotten a normal job to earn the money we’d need to start over. The wounds on my face would heal. The scars on my body would fade. But I’d never be normal enough to walk the same path as regular people. I’d never feel at ease in an office, with cubicle walls pressing in on all sides and too many pairs of eyes watching me.
The bar was different. For the most part, I was just a hand on a bottle, pouring my patrons’ preferred poison. Even the extra service I’d provided for a fee hadn’t been about me. I was just one more ghost moving through a sea of them. Hand out, mouth open, it was all the same.
“Mia?”
Shaking off the concern in his tone, I shed my shirt and pulled on my fencing jacket. It was a modified, much cheaper version than what real fencers would wear, but the worst thing that could happen was that I’d get stabbed.
Worst? Best? Hard to say.
“Nothing above the neck or below the waist.” I picked up my foil. “You’re familiar with the basic moves?”
He’d shoved his arms through his jacket so he wore it back to front like an oversized leather bib. “I said I was.” He didn’t sound concerned anymore. Now he sounded irritated.
Yeah, well, his fault for trying to interact with an emotional zombie. At least I wasn’t the only one to blame for this mess.
“En garde,” I said, my mind already locking into place for battle. In the end, fighting was all I had. All I was.
We circled each other. From his hesitant movements, I swiftly realized he wouldn’t strike first. He would wait for me. Protecting the little woman to the last.
I didn’t attack right away. Normally my style was to charge in first before my oppo
nent had his guard fully in place and brawling like my life depended on it. Sometimes that was enough. Sometimes it wasn’t. Only when my opponent thought she had me on the ropes did I become the spider from which I’d earned my name. Waiting, biding my time. Picking my moment to go in for the kill.
Fencing required a different sort of dance. I had to show Fox he wasn’t the only one with speed. And that I wasn’t going to pull my punches, whether with my fists or my foil.
I came in low along his right side since he was a leftie. He countered effortlessly, and in riposte, aimed just under my shoulder. I parried and jabbed again, higher on the same side. Shifting closer, tempting him to counter by thrusting at the same spot again. Encouraging him to think I’d keep aiming at the places he would expect. His foil clashed against mine and he gave me a feral smile, teeth bared.
Oh, yeah, it was on.
We went again, circling endlessly, slapping blades, lunging low, attacking high. Pushing each other across the room and back again, skirting furniture and avoiding walls. He was right. This room was way too small for this. He wasn’t petite like Kizzy. The guy owned the space, turning me into a planet that orbited his sun. I didn’t like feeling dominated by his sheer size and started getting annoyed and sloppy. I hadn’t fenced in a long time, and he was better than I’d expected.
Breathing hard, sweating more than a little, I ramped up my game, but it didn’t make much difference. He seemed to know my moves before I executed them and was so light on his feet that I couldn’t even jab the tip of my blade against his coat.
Until I did, and the material tore with a vicious slice.
Fox gasped, and I dropped my foil, sending it clattering across the floor. Oh shit. I rushed to him, already praying aloud, apologizing, begging him not to be hurt as I pulled off the coat and saw that his shirt was…