“I was a difficult person to be married to.”
“Anyone would be difficult if they’re married to the wrong person. She wasn’t the only one who was hurt. You were hurt, too.”
He sat for a moment, silent, knowing that it was important that she knew the truth. “I wasn’t hurt, I was relieved, Sky. When I saw her with him, I was relieved. That was the moment I knew it was over and she knew it, too.”
“You were hurt, Alec. Maybe not by the affair, but before that by all the small things she did—or didn’t do. Somehow she managed to convince you that you can’t make anyone happy. That you’re better off on your own.”
“I am. I’m selfish. Far too selfish to make a commitment like that. I don’t want to be responsible for another person’s happiness. I want to be able to leave at a moment’s notice and travel wherever I want. I want to be able to spend a week with my nose in a book and not apologize for it. I want to work through the night when a book is going well, and I want to talk about travel, history, writing—the things that interest me, not parties and celebrities and who is dating who. That doesn’t interest me.” His voice was rough. Brutal as he spelled it out. “I really am better off on my own.”
He was delivering a warning and he hoped she was listening.
“If you were selfish, you wouldn’t have come looking for me that night in London. You would have carried on with your life, as Richard did. You only came to my exhibition to please Brit. You didn’t even like me, but you refused to leave me. You stayed with me, and then you refused to let me stay on my own, and that was even though you were remembering what happened last time you helped a woman in trouble.”
“You’re nothing like my ex-wife.” Now that he knew Skylar he couldn’t imagine how he’d ever thought it.
“You are letting her affect the way you live your life, Alec. And that’s crap. If you’re caught in a storm when you’re sailing, do you never take the boat out again?” She nudged him with her elbow. “So what do you think, Shipwreck Hunter? Maybe your New Year’s resolution should be to get laid in as many positions possible with as many gorgeous women as possible in the hope you might meet someone interesting.”
For some reason that didn’t sound remotely appealing.
“I don’t think so.”
“Kirsti and I will vet them for you. Only women who love the outdoors and can wrestle a wild boar with their bare hands.” She paused. “Promise me you’ll get out there? I don’t want you to live your life alone.”
“What about you? What’s your New Year’s resolution?”
There was a brief silence and then she gave him her trademark megawatt smile. “I’m going to live life boldly, being me. And hopefully somewhere down the line I will meet a guy who thinks there are worse ways to die than being strangled in his sleep by my hair.”
Alec found himself hoping she didn’t meet that guy soon.
He wanted her to be happy, but he didn’t want to think about her smiling and laughing with another man.
What did that say about him?
That he was exactly what his ex-wife had said he was. Selfish.
HARBOR HOUSE GLEAMED with lights and festive greenery and Emily was deep in preparations for Christmas.
The kitchen smelled of baking and was covered with bowls, spatulas and trays of cookies
cooling. The table was spread with paper and Lizzy was painting, her face a picture of concentration as she shook glitter over the page.
“I love that.” Sky took a closer look. “It’s the island. And there’s the Captain Hook, all decorated for the holidays. And is this Alec’s House?” She pointed to a lopsided house with a seagull next to it. “Do you need help finishing it?”
Lizzy reached for the pink glitter. “I’m running out of glitter.”
“I might be able to help with that.” Sky delved into her bag. “Glitter. In four different colors.”
Lizzy’s face brightened. “You’re the best.”
Emily closed her eyes. “Have I told you lately how much I hate you? The last glitter you gave her ended up in the shower. Ryan sparkled every time he went to work.”
Lizzy focused on the page, her tongue caught between her teeth as she drew carefully.
“But she’s loving it.” Sky spread the tubes of glitter on the table and put her bag down. “And creativity should never be stifled. Are you feeling better, Em?”
She was desperate to talk to her friend, but she knew there was no chance while Lizzy was there.
“Pretty much.” Emily had her head down, helping Lizzy, and Sky reached for the bowl of cranberries from the table.