“There are no buts. You can control a lot of things, Brit, but you can’t control your heart.” Her voice broke. “You can’t control that. And my heart belongs to him even though he doesn’t want it. It may have been a short relationship, but it was the most honest, true, real relationship I’ve ever had. With him, I never felt like I should try harder to be something different.”
Emily’s cheeks were wet. “Why would you? You’re wonderful.”
“But I’m not easy to live with. I can’t be with him, but spending time with him showed me that I like being myself. And maybe I will never find another person who likes me the way I am, but this is the way I want to be now. It’s like being liberated. It’s—it’s like wearing control underwear and suddenly taking it off.”
Brittany frowned. “When have you ever worn control underwear?” She shook her head. “Never mind. So what happens now?” She was looking at Alec as she spoke, but his gaze was fixed on the phone.
“I talked to my parents today. I had a proper talk, where they did the listening for once. Watching the way Alec was with his parents made me realize that some of the blame lies with me. I’ve been allowing them to interfere with my life. I told them how I felt. And I can’t honestly say it was well received, but the ball is in their court now. I don’t know what will happen, but they either accept me or they don’t. Living with them made me feel like a flower deprived of water. Tomorrow I’m coming back to the island and spending Christmas where I want to spend Christmas—with people who love me the way I am.”
Brittany stared at the phone. “You’re coming back?”
“Yes, I wasn’t going to, because I wasn’t sure I could hide how I feel about Alec, but then I realized that I want to spend Christmas on Puffin Island with all of you. If I stop coming to the island because I’m afraid to bump into him, then I won’t ever see you and that’s too high a price to pay. I’ve worked out a lot of things today, and I think I can handle it. I’m not the world’s best actress, but I can do this. I can act as if nothing has changed and he is never going to know.”
Brittany covered her face with her hands. “Kill me now.”
“You’re worried it’s going to be awkward, but I promise you it’s not.”
“Good.” Brittany let her hands drop, her expression resigned. “See you tomorrow. Have you hired a car? Zach will fly and pick you up.”
“Thank you. You promise you won’t tell Alec?”
Brittany’s gaze locked w
ith Alec’s. “I won’t tell him. But I think he might know.”
“He won’t know.” Sky’s voice sounded muffled. “I’ve been practicing in front of the mirror. There is no way he is going to find out. Just watch me. My smile is going to be bigger than Alaska.”
Emily cut the connection and gave Brittany and Alec an agonized look. “What happens now?”
Brittany rolled her eyes. “We’re screwed. Completely, utterly screwed.” She glared at Alec. “This is all your fault. Why did you have to walk into the kitchen at that point?”
“It’s not his fault,” Emily said reasonably. “You put the call on speakerphone.”
“Because we both wanted to talk to her! We didn’t know we were going to have an uninvited guest. Since when did men ever show themselves when there is work to be done in the kitchen?” Brittany said testily. “You’d better pretend you don’t know, or I will kill you with my bare hands and bury your body so deep you’ll be oil before anyone finds you. If she finds out you heard that conversation, she’ll be mortified.”
Alec said nothing, just gripped the table until his knuckles were white.
“Alec?” Emily’s voice was cautious. “Say something.”
“She said that I make her happy.” He sounded like a robot and Emily looked at him with concern.
“Yes, she did. What are you going to do, Alec?”
He stared at them for a long moment.
Then, without answering them, he turned and strode out of the kitchen.
Moments later they heard the front door slam.
“Crap, crap, crappity, crap.” Brittany lowered her head onto the table. “What the hell do we do now? Think we should tell her?”
“No! If you tell her, she won’t come home.” Emily stood up and paced the kitchen. “We’re all going to have a lovely friend Christmas for the first time in our lives and nothing is going to spoil it.”
“Is Alec even coming back?”
“I have no idea. But even if he does—” Emily looked at her in despair “—we need a miracle.”
Brittany shrugged helplessly, clearly unconvinced. “It’s the season for it.”