She leaned her head back against the seat, her eyes swimming. “I want to be in love. Really in love. And right now I don’t think I’m feeling what I’m supposed to feel. I dreamed of something so different. I dreamed of more. But what if I’m wrong? What if I’m as idealistic as my parents say I am and this is all there is?’
“If you don’t feel the right way, you don’t feel the right way.”
“I don’t know what the right way is. All I know is that I want someone who I know will be there through thick and thin. I want a guy who is my best friend as well as my lover. I want to be with someone who is interested in what I do, and proud of me. I don’t want to feel as if I’m just another member of someone’s campaign team. I want to laugh and have long conversations that last until morning, but most of all I want someone as reliable as my girlfriends, someone who is going to hold me when life turns to shit and not walk away when things get tough.”
He said nothing.
She sniffed, her breathing jagged. “I don’t want to build a life on lies and then find it all comes crashing down years later. I want to build a future on firm foundations. I want to slide into old age laughing at the things we’ve always laughed at.” She blew her nose. “You’re so lucky having Brittany. No one could have a more loyal, loving friend. If she were a man I’d marry her, and I’m not even that wild about marriage as an institution.”
Tension rippled across his shoulders.
He knew Brittany was loyal and loving, and what had he ever given her in return?
Sky cleared her throat. “I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this and not Em or Brit.”
“Why are you?”
“Because you don’t care about me so you’re unbiased.”
Zach gave a faint smile and rose to his feet. “Maybe I’m not. I sure as hell wouldn’t vote for the guy after what you’ve just told me.”
She gave a choked laugh and then blew her nose again. “Brit always said you were good with anything injured. I guess that’s me. You’re a good listener. I expect you’ve had a lot of experience with female tears.”
“Causing them,” Zach muttered. “Not mopping them up.”
“I know. You dumped my friend, remember?”
He remembered.
Sky took another tissue from the packet. “When Em and I first met her, she was broken. And we didn’t understand it. After what you’d done to her, we couldn’t understand why she didn’t just wipe you out of her head. And then we got to know her, and we realized she is the most loyal, loving friend anyone could have and that for her, love isn’t something you give and then take back. She never gives up on people, so losing touch with you, having you cut out of her life like that, was torture. It was like trying to live with part of herself missing.”
Zach couldn’t breathe. “She must have hated me.”
“Sure, she hated you, but I can guarantee that if you’d picked up the phone at any point in those ten years and asked for her help, she would have been there for you. She might have yelled at you and slapped you for behaving like a shit, but she would have been there.” Sky sniffed. “Brit would never, ever, leave a friend who needed her.”
“I wasn’t a friend.”
“Do you seriously believe that? You dumbass.” Sky sighed and rolled her eyes. “I can’t sort out my own love life but at least I can try to help with yours. Do me a favor, Zach. If you don’t love her, if you want to take the amazing gift of her love and friendship and throw it away, then at least tell her straight. But please, for the love of God, think carefully before you throw away the best thing you’ve ever had.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THE FOLLOWING DAY Brittany drove up to the village to do some shopping.
She parked at the harbor, wandered along Main Street and picked up a few items in Harbor Stores before making her way back to her car.
She was piling her purchases into the backseat when she heard someone calling her and saw Philip walking towards her.
She noticed his gait was a little stiff and wondered if he was in a lot of pain. “Hi, Philip.” She walked to meet him and gave him a hug. “How are you?”
“I’m not going to be running the marathon anytime soon, but I’ve never really wanted to, so I’m not complaining.”
Brittany thought that he looked remarkably upbeat for someone who’d had bad news. “Let me know how I can help. I know how much you love the camp and it must be hard cutting back.”
He nodded. “That was my biggest concern of course, but not anymore. I’ve found someone else to step in and take my place.” He was buzzing with excitement and Brittany felt her insides shift. How would Zach feel about that?
“You found someone?”
“Zach came over to the house this morning and spoke to Celia and me. It’s the first time we’ve ever heard him talk like that. He told us that we weren’t to worry about the camp, that he was going to step in and take on the bits I couldn’t do, but leave me with all the bits I still could do. It was a weight off my shoulders. He’s always been involved with the scholarship kids of course, and his mentorship has been almost as valuable as the sponsorship he gave us, but seeing him take on more general responsibility is good news.”