The world seemed to slow down. “He sponsors the kids?”
“Yes, he’s already giving us a huge sum of money, so—” Philip broke off and pulled a face. “Damn it, Brittany, you didn’t know, did you?”
“That Zach was personally responsible for some of the scholarship places? No.” Her mouth was dry and she told herself that it was typical of him not to reveal something like that. He never revealed anything that made him look good.
Philip raked his fingers through his hair. “You’ve been spending so much time
together, I assumed he’d told you.”
“He told me a little about one of the kids—Todd? About how he came here on a scholarship and has now got a place at medical school. Zach told me what a kick it gave him seeing him turn his life around.” She kept her voice steady. “Did he pay for that?”
“He contributed funds, along with a few other people he knows. Zach has wealthy contacts and he’s good at persuading them to open their wallets for a good cause. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I didn’t realize—”
“It’s fine, Philip.” She ignored the tiny part of her that felt hurt that he hadn’t told her. “What else did he say about the camp?”
“He said that we could rely on him. He said that he had our backs and would never let us down. He said that he—” Philip’s voice cracked “—that he loved us. Well, would you look at me, making a fool of myself right in the middle of Main Street. No guesses as to what the gossip will be tomorrow.”
But Brittany wasn’t even aware of the people strolling past them. She didn’t hear the shriek of the gulls or the shattering boom of the Captain Hook’s horn as it approached the harbor.
There was a dull throbbing in her ears and a chill rushed across her skin.
“He told you he loved you?” Forming the words was difficult. “He actually said those words?”
“Yes. And Celia cried. I told her to stop. Pointed out that if that was the reaction he got, he’d never say those words again.”
“No.” It was a struggle to smile. A struggle to react in a normal way. “Well, I’m glad he finally said them.”
And she was. She really was.
Was it wrong of her to wish he’d said them to her?
She felt as if someone had taken an ax to her heart and chopped it in two.
Questions swarmed into her head. When had he made the decision? Why had he made the decision? What had changed for him?
And why hadn’t he shared it with her?
And another part of her brain was already answering, telling her she was a fool, because he’d never shared anything, had he? Not really.
“You of all people will understand.” Philip carried on talking, apparently oblivious to her mounting distress. “It isn’t about the camp, although of course it’s a huge weight off my shoulders, it’s about him. He’s never given, or accepted, trust. He grew up believing he couldn’t be trusted. That he’d let people down. This is a huge step forward.”
Aware that a response was needed Brittany nodded. She felt like a wooden doll. “I know. I know it’s a huge step forward.”
“And it means he’s planning on staying on the island. That’s the best news Celia and I could have been given.”
And the worst news Brittany could have been given.
If Zach was staying on the island it meant that every visit home in the future would be punctuated by this same agonizing, restless pain.
He clearly didn’t feel the same way about her as she did about him.
If he did, then he would have told her.
She could no longer pretend to herself that the reason he didn’t say those words was because he was afraid.
She couldn’t tell herself that he’d never said those words to anyone, because he’d said them to Philip and Celia.
She was right out of excuses and forced to face the truth.