How to Keep a Secret

“Yeah, like you did? You didn’t even tell Aunt Jenna about my real dad. I saw her face the day of the funeral.”

“Don’t model yourself on me. I’m starting to think I need a complete do-over.”

It had been a long and punishing few weeks, most of which had passed in a blur of meetings with lawyers and Ed’s accountants. The list of people he owed money to grew every day. She felt stupid for not taking a closer interest, but she knew she wasn’t stupid. She’d trusted her husband. Was it naive to trust the man you were married to?

How could he have hidden something so enormous from her? Why? How long had he had problems with the business? When had it all started? What had gone wrong?

Damn you, Ed.

She stared across the choppy sea to the island. Something stirred inside her, a deep unease, as if some part of her sensed that this place could somehow shake the foundations of the life she’d built. She’d always had mixed feelings about Martha’s Vineyard. Her visits home brought a rash of memories, many of which she could happily have deleted from her brain. She associated the place with teenage emotions and bad choices.

Most of all, she associated the place with him and that one spectacular summer that had never been matched or repeated. She’d experienced heartache and heartbreak and a breadth of other agonizing human emotions in the space of a few short months, and had changed forever.

Jenna had been right when she’d questioned whether there was a reason Lauren hadn’t returned often.

He was the reason.

She’d been afraid of bumping into memories. Afraid of bumping into him.

In London she was a different person. She’d reinvented herself. Part of her had always been a little nervous that she might revert to her original self when she stepped off the ferry.

Lauren stared down at the boil and swirl of the waves. For a wild moment she thought about jumping. With her current run of luck she’d probably land on a rock.

She looked away from the water, feeling guilty for even thinking of jumping. She had responsibilities, and now she was facing them on her own. There was no one else.

Had marrying Ed been a coward’s way out or the right decision? She no longer knew.

“Staying with Grams will be fun.”

“For two weeks in the summer, yes, but forever?” Mack turned her head slowly, the look in her eyes pure teenage disdain. “You promised to be honest. That night in my bedroom you said no more lying.”

“You’re right, I did.” She rejected the instinct to protect her daughter from the truth. “It might not be that much fun, but we don’t have much choice.” What could she say? That she wasn’t looking forward to it either? That a grown woman of thirty-five shouldn’t have to move back home with her mother, especially when they’d never had that great a relationship in the first place? That she had no idea how to talk to her own mother about what was happening in her life? “It’s hard, but we need to keep going.” She tried to inject some normality. “We’ll do some of the things we always do. Beach, bike rides, maybe go shopping—”

“Last time I looked you couldn’t buy a new life.”

They’d been given a new life whether they wanted it or not. And they couldn’t shop for anything until she’d worked out a way to produce income. That was top of her list of problems to solve.

“We’re lucky Grams has a big house and can easily accommodate us.”

Lauren loved her mother, but the thought of living in close quarters after so many years made her hyperventilate. Her mother didn’t really know her, although to be fair that was probably as much Lauren’s fault as Nancy’s.

Apart from her sister, there was only one person who had truly known her and he’d sailed away from her life a long time ago.

As the ferry docked and people started to disembark Lauren was tempted to stay on board, but she knew she had to start facing her problems. She had to deal with them one by one, the best she could. Lists. Plans. Control.

Her mother had promised to meet her.

Lauren would have preferred it to be Jenna, but her sister was teaching and she’d already missed more than enough classes flying to London to support Lauren.

She held out her hand but Mack shot her a horrified glance and dipped her head.

“I’m not six. Please don’t kill my credibility dead before I’ve even set foot in the place. There’s only so many times a person can move, you know?”

Lauren wondered how they were going to get past this. Ed’s death should have pulled them closer, but it had pushed them apart.

Patience and time, she thought. That was all she had.

At least there was nothing more that could happen.