How to Keep a Secret

Perhaps the only advantage of being at rock bottom was that the only way was up.

They hauled their luggage off the ferry and she saw the familiar figure of her mother clutching the edges of the same unflattering gray coat she’d worn for the last decade. For someone lauded for her use of color, it had always puzzled Lauren that her mother now showed such a lack of interest in clothing. Despite the fact that her paintings commanded eye-watering sums, she never seemed to spend anything on herself. Her once-blond hair was now a uniform gray and a pair of glasses perched on the end of her nose.

Next to her stood a man. His shoulders were wide and powerful and he hunched them slightly as protection against the relentless buffeting of the wind. His legs were long and strong and his hair was the color of the sky at midnight. Although she wasn’t close enough to see his eyes, she knew they were blue. Ice blue, like frost on the water or a pale winter sky.

Lauren stopped walking and Mack bumped into her, almost knocking her off balance.

“Whoa! If you’re going to put the brakes on, some warning would be good.” Steadying herself, Mack stepped round her mother and kissed her grandmother. “Hi, Grams. Yes, I’ve grown. Yes, I’m taller. It’s an amazing feat of nature.”

Nancy gave a distracted smile, either not noticing teenage sarcasm or unfazed by it. “How was the crossing? Lauren, I hope you don’t mind that I didn’t drive. My car is in the garage. You remember Scott Rhodes? He’s been doing some work on the house and he gave me a ride.” She gestured vaguely to the man standing next to her and Lauren tried to control the waves of dizziness.

Scott Rhodes.

So in fact she hadn’t hit rock bottom yet. She was still falling.

It had been more than sixteen years since she’d seen him, but the recognition was instant and visceral. Heat seared her skin and shot through her pelvis. Her legs started to tremble.

Her gaze locked on his and she felt as if she’d slammed headfirst into a wall.

Her senses felt as if they’d been woken from a long sleep.

Through a cloud of mist she heard Mack say, “Wait a minute, did you say your name was Scott Rhodes?”

The world started to spin. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t suck air into her lungs. Something heavy pressed against her chest. Heart attack?

As if in slow motion, she felt the bag slip from her fingers and her legs start to give way under her.

I’m going to faint, she thought. Maybe I’ll hit my head and all this will be over. Maybe I’ll fall in the water and drown—

But she couldn’t let that happen, could she?

Mack needed her—

She crumpled to the ground and through the shadows and rolling gray mist heard Mack’s horrified scream.

“You’ve killed my mom!” Her voice was high and shrill and came from far away. “Thanks a lot. Now I’m an orphan.”

13

Lauren

Flashback: a scene that returns to events in the past

Moonlight spilled over the beach and she lay nestled in the protective curve of his arm, staring up at the stars. The sand was warm beneath her back and she could hear the soft rush of the sea as it hit the shore.

Was there a more beautiful place on earth?

If there was, then she didn’t need to see it. This was enough.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” His arms tightened around her. “I’ve never said those words to anyone.”

But he’d said them to her.

It made her feel invincible, as if she could walk on water or leap off a building and fly.

The future she’d envisaged was changing shape. She wasn’t sure where college fit in with the way she felt about Scott. She tried to imagine herself going to classes and never seeing him. How could that option possibly make her happy?