How to Keep a Secret

She couldn’t bear to think what they probably saw that night. Damn Tom and his libertine ways.

Alice was staring at the Sail Loft in silence. “Are you sure about this?”

Nancy paused. “Anyone would think you didn’t want to go inside.”

Alice gave a wan smile. “I hate seeing you hurt, that’s all.”

Nancy patted her on the shoulder and walked ahead. She could have done this on her own, but inviting Alice had been the right thing to do.

If she was really going to move forward, then she needed Alice here.

The key didn’t turn easily in the lock, but whether that was because it was rusty from lack of use or because her hand was shaking, she wasn’t sure.

Finally she unlocked the door and pushed it open.

The shutters were closed and the place smelled of dust and paint, although how it could still smell of paint after so long she had no idea. Dust sheets covered the sofas and there was a lace of cobwebs high on the ceiling. Other than that not much had changed.

An image appeared in her head, disturbingly clear.

She saw Tom, leaning over a dazzled woman, his laughing blue eyes charming her the way he’d charmed Nancy. Had he made promises? Had he lied? Or had he told her that this was the way he was, that he did this with everyone and that although she might feel special now, he would have forgotten her by tomorrow?

She turned and saw Alice sitting on the dusty sofa. “Alice? Are you all right?”

Alice stood up suddenly. “I’m worried about you. Let’s leave right now.”

“We only just got here. Why would we leave?”

Alice’s eyes filled. “You’re my dearest friend. I hate to see you putting yourself through this.”

Nancy felt something stir inside her.

She made a decision.

“Let’s clear him out, Alice. We’ll do it together.” It was time to get rid of the man, starting with his things. Nancy walked through to one of the bedrooms and pulled out a box of Tom’s things. “We should sort through this.”

There was a box of his clothes tucked in the spare room and she dragged it out and flung it into the garden. The feeling of satisfaction was astonishing. It was like shooting adrenaline into a vein.

Alice flinched as if she’d been struck. “Don’t you want to sort through them? There might be things here you want to keep.” She walked into the garden and retrieved a jacket that had spilled onto the overgrown grass. “Are you sure this is the right thing to do? Don’t you want to hold on to a few memories?”

Nancy wished she could rid herself of the memories as easily as she could rid herself of his clothes. “That’s a jacket, and it’s taking up space. He’s gone, Alice. Keeping his clothes isn’t going to change that.”

She flung open shutters and windows, letting in sea air. The breeze flowed through the rooms, sending a few stray pieces of paper fluttering across the dusty floor.

Today the sky was blue with a promise of summer and she remembered how much she’d once loved being here, in her beach sanctuary.

Why should Tom continue to contaminate a place that had once been special to her?

She was going to strip the whole place back until it was an empty shell, and then she’d build it up again the way she wanted it.

Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a scarf and tied it around her hair to protect herself from dust and cobwebs. Then she got to work.

She emptied cupboards, flung clothes into bags and tipped away the contents of drawers. She moved through the rooms like a whirlwind, with Alice shadowing her like a startled rabbit saying things like, “Nancy, are you sure?” and “You’re really throwing this away?”

Nancy continued to pile things in the garden.

When the ground floor was finally empty, she rolled up her sleeves and reached for the bag she’d brought with her. It was going to take more than a bucket of bleach to get Tom out of her life, but at least it was a start.

Cleaning turned out to be therapeutic. She scrubbed and rubbed until sweat clung to her body.