‘Are we nearly done here?’ Logan glanced at his watch. ‘I want to have lunch with Kirsty. Why don’t you join us? You haven’t seen her since you arrived back. She misses you.’
Evanna felt something twist inside her.
What should she say? That she was trying to gradually distance herself from his family to make the whole thing easier to live with?
No, to say that would trigger a full confession and she couldn’t think of anything more embarrassing. And, anyway, she didn’t really want to distance herself from Logan and Kirsty. She enjoyed their company. She just wanted to feel differently about him.
‘I’ve been away for a month, Logan,’ she said quietly, picking up two empty mugs from his desk. ‘I’ve had things to do in the cottage.’
‘Yes, of course you have.’ His gaze was searching. ‘It’s just that you usually spend a lot of time with Kirsty.’
Oh, what the heck! ‘I’d like to see her,’ she said weakly, cursing her lack of self-discipline. ‘I’ll make us all a sandwich.’
After all, what difference was it going to make? She couldn’t possibly love Logan more than she did already and she couldn’t possibly feel any worse than she did already. So she may as well just make the most of the time she had with him.
‘Good.’ He was still watching her. ‘Are you sure you’re all right? You seem a bit…edgy. Is something the matter?’
Yes, Evanna thought to herself as she walked towards the door, clutching the mugs. I’m in love with a man who doesn’t know I exist. ‘Nothing’s the matter. I’ve finished my clinic so I’ll go through to the house and get lunch on the table. Join us whenever you’re ready.’
Something was the matter with Evanna.
Frowning to himself, Logan closed the door of his consulting room, handed a pile of letters to Janet and walked through the door that connected with his house.
It was unlike Evanna to be distracted and yet ever since she’d returned from the mainland she seemed really…jumpy?
Perhaps it was his imagination. It was just that he wasn’t used to having to wonder about her. Unlike his sister, who wasn’t above throwing something at him when he annoyed her, Evanna was always steady and consistent.
In fact, if he’d been asked to find one word to describe Evanna it would have been predictable. Reliable. Kind. That was more than one word, he acknowledged with a faint smile as he followed the sound of laughter and walked into his kitchen.
Evanna was sitting at the huge table, gingerly wiping blobs of strawberry yoghurt from her dark hair. Kirsty was gurgling with delight and banging her spoon on her high chair.
‘Yes, yes,’ Evanna was saying in that soft, breathy voice that always soothed anxious patients, ‘your aim is fantastic.’
‘Sorry.’ Logan laughed as he walked over to her and handed her some more kitchen roll. ‘I should have warned you about her new throwing technique. I think she might be a cricketer when she grows up. She’s quite good at bowling food.’
‘I noticed.’ Evanna leaned forward, undid the harness and lifted the little girl out of her high chair. ‘Come on, then, monster. Let’s have a cuddle.’
All smiles, Kirsty wrapped her arms round Evanna’s neck and kissed her on the cheek.
Logan felt an aching sadness rise up inside him.
‘Are you all right?’ Evanna stood up, lifting the child onto her hip. ‘Logan?’
She was watching him with dark, solemn eyes and he pulled himself together. ‘I’m fine.’
‘No, you’re not.’ Her voice was gentle as she sat the toddler down on the floor next to a pile of toys. ‘You were thinking about Catherine. You don’t have to pretend with me, Logan. You spend most of your life putting on a brave face in public, you’re allowed to let it slip when you’re with friends.’
She was so astute. She always saw through to the real emotions. It was what made her such an outstanding nurse. It was why everyone on the island loved her. Evanna cared. Deeply.
Wondering why he always talked to Evanna about things that he never usually talked about, Logan stared at his daughter. ‘It’s just hard not to worry about her. She needs a mother,’ he said gruffly, and Evanna walked over to him and touched his arm.
‘Kirsty is a lucky girl.’ Her voice was husky with emotion. ‘She has an amazing father who adores her. Don’t underestimate that. You’re doing a good job, Logan.’
‘Am I?’ His expression was bleak and for a moment he felt empty inside. ‘I’m not sure that I have the skills to be a mother and a father to a child.’
‘Kirsty has plenty of loving females in her life. She’s surrounded by family. What with Kyla and all the aunts and cousins—your parents—’ Evanna broke off and sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I’m trying to make you feel better. Human instinct. The truth is it’s a vile situation that no one should ever have to find themselves tackling. Life is hideously unfair. Feel free to scream, swear and complain as much as you like. I’m always here, you know that.’
He did know that. Evanna was rock-solid and dependable. Always there when he needed her.