“But what if I fail?” Linda gave a strangled sob, and Audrey took her hand.
“It’s not all or nothing. You just have to keep trying. Like me and those stupid exams. It’s not failure until you stop trying. Don’t give up.”
“I’ve been such a bad mother. I’m truly sorry, Audie.” She’d said the same words before, but only when she was drunk and upset. This was the first time Audrey had heard genuine remorse.
“You’re not a bad mother. You’re not well, that’s all.”
“So many times you looked after me, when I should have been the one looking after you. I feel so guilty about that. I can’t change the past, but I can change the future. I’m going to do better.” Her mother took a tissue from Ron and blew her nose. “I’m going to make it up to you. I’m going to be a mother to you, not a burden. I want you to be proud of me.”
“I am proud. I’m proud that you’re trying to stop.” And relieved. Oh, so relieved that her mother had at last admitted she had a problem.
“When you’re out of here and recovered, we’ll figure out a program,” Ron said.
“I’ve already talked to the doctors here.” Linda looked thin and pale. “I’m sorry I dragged you back from Paris, Audie. You didn’t have to come.”
“Of course I did. You’re my family.” Audrey swallowed. “What about your job?”
“My bosses have been very supportive. There will be a job waiting for me when I’m back on my feet. And the doctors say I can probably go home tomorrow or the next day. I’ll have to come back to clinic, of course, but that’s not as bad as being in a hospital bed. And that’s enough about me. Tell us about Paris. I want to know everything.”
It was the first time her mother had shown interest in how she was spending her summer.
Audrey talked about the bookshop and her apartment with its views of the rooftops. She told them about Etienne, and she told them about Grace. Her mother asked questions, and even laughed a little at the stories Audrey told. For the first time Audrey felt there was a connection there.
The more she talked, the more she realized just how much she missed Paris. She missed the city and the people. She even missed the dusty smell of books. Most of all, she missed Etienne.
She wondered how he was getting on with his mother and sisters. She wanted to talk to him and tell him everything that had happened.
Families messed with your head, but at the same time they were the very best thing.
When Grace appeared in the doorway, Audrey and Ron introduced her and Grace was wonderful with Linda, saying exactly the right things.
Audrey wondered if it was hard for Grace, seeing Linda reach for a second chance knowing that there was none for her own mother.
It was Grace who encouraged her to call Meena once they’d left Linda to sleep. Grace who encouraged her to tell Meena the truth.
Audrey did, and Meena arrived at the hospital an hour later with food sent by her mother and offers of help from her whole family.
At first Audrey felt awkward, but then Meena hugged her and all she felt was relief.
“So now you know,” she croaked. “Welcome to my real life. Bit of a shocker.”
“Not really.” Meena squeezed her tightly. “I always knew something was wrong.”
“Yeah?” Audrey pulled away, horrified by the lump in her throat. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“If you’d wanted to tell me, you would have told me. I didn’t want to push. I spent hours trying to work out how to let you know I was there for you if you needed me, but I couldn’t find a way to do it without scaring you away.”
She’d felt so alone, but it seemed that she hadn’t been as alone as she’d thought.
Part of her wished she’d confided in Meena sooner, but knew she was only doing it now because of Grace. If they hadn’t met and become friends, she’d probably still be keeping everything to herself.
Grace had intended to book a hotel room for herself, but in the end Meena’s mother insisted she stay with them, and Meena’s dad picked them up from the hospital.
Word spread that Grace spoke French and two of Meena’s cousins joined them for dinner so that Grace could check their homework and help them with their French.
Meena was mortified, but Grace seemed delighted to help.
“Don’t teach them the word for condom,” Audrey muttered to Grace as she carried what felt like a banquet to the table. Meena’s mother always catered on a large scale.