“I fucking hate you,” I growled as pleasure began to radiate from my core. Sweat began to build on my skin as the intensity built and he moved faster, making me grip him harder until his body jerked forwards and he cursed out loud. My own release followed and as soon as he loosened his hold on me I fell to the floor, my body weak.
“Thank you, Leah.”
His tone was smug, and I didn’t look up as I heard him pull his jeans back up, and then his footsteps padded along the hallway and up the stairs.
I’d been used. His words told me so. He may or may not have been thinking of me as he screwed me against the wall but that build up of tension wasn’t just about me. This was him telling me he needed a release. Because of her. Because of me. Because of this fucked up situation.
I wanted to shower. Wanted to wash any evidence of that away because I wanted no memory of it. It wasn’t the first time we’d had a quickie in the hallway, but it was the first time I’d ever felt empty afterwards. The first time I’d felt nothing but selfishness from him. And yeah, I’d needed it too, but I’d hoped, somewhere deep down, that I’d feel something from the man I was in love with him.
There was nothing.
I knew he wasn’t completely gone, but he really was doing what I’d asked of him. He was considering his options.
Blowing out a slow breath to stop myself from crying, I reminded myself of all the reasons I’d asked for this break. No matter how much my life would be torn apart if he chose her, it was better to know now, before I took a walk down the aisle and ended up married and divorced within a year.
That thought was little comfort to me, but I tried to suppress the growing ache inside me and stood up. At least if Radleigh was taking care of Jessica, I could scrub myself clean and try to pretend it never happened.
Chapter Fourteen – I Want To Go Back
“Leah. Something’s happened.”
Those were the words that changed the course of my day. Pulled me out of my own self-pity. Radleigh had gone home again, left with barely a word, and Jessica was asleep again.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, a shiver running through me at the tone of Bryce’s voice.
“It’s Bree. Jude called me and asked me to talk to you and Freya because Bree is asking for you. She’s… she’s had a miscarriage.”
The air in the room seemed to still and my body turned cold. “No. Please… please tell me this didn’t happen.”
“I’m sorry, Leah. I hate that I had to do this but Jude was not up for making the calls. He just asked me to get you and Freya to the hospital as soon as possible because Bree wants you both there.”
What a day. What a messed up, awful day. I licked my lips to moisten them but my whole mouth had gone dry. “Oh God. Bryce, I want to go, but Jessica’s in bed and I…” How was I supposed to tell him I couldn’t call Radleigh after what had happened earlier? I wanted, needed, to be at Bree’s side, but Radleigh was probably out with Jen anyway.
“You don’t want to ask Radleigh to take care of her,” Bryce finished, but he didn’t sound judgemental. He sounded like he understood, which then made me wonder if he already knew what happened earlier.
Shaking my head, I said, “No.”
“I’ll watch her for you. I think it’s important that you go to Bree, though.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. That would be amazing.”
“I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Sooner if I can.”
As we hung up, I stood on shaky legs and ran upstairs to change out of my lazy clothes and into something a bit less chavvy. I threw on a clean pair of jeans and a black long-sleeved top to try and stave off some of the chill that still gripped my body.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Just a day ago Bree and I had chatted about our children growing up together and now it had all ground to a halt. I blinked back the tears because I couldn’t be a mess in front of her. I had to hold it together until I got home again. A tugging sensation in my heart took me to Jessica’s room and just as I often did, I stood by her crib and watched her sleep. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. From the second I knew she was growing inside me, I couldn’t imagine being without her. How must it feel to have that ripped away from you without reason? To have that life you created snatched away before it had had a chance to come into the world?
It wasn’t fair. Bree had been through enough in her life. Why now, just when everything was beginning to work out for her?
With a sigh, I leaned down and kissed my baby girl’s cheek. “I love you, sweetheart,” I whispered. “Mummy will be home again real soon, and until then, Uncle Bryce will be here.
”
She was in safe hands. Jessica loved Bryce, and he loved her right back. It was no surprise he had three children, and I would have bet good money that if he found the right woman, he might have a couple more.
With one last look at Jessica, I sighed and headed back downstairs, trying to figure out what I was going to say when I saw Bree.
**