If I Let You Go

Oh, it happened.

After what felt like forever, Dominic finally got to his feet, and went into his en-suite bathroom. How could he not say anything? Was he actually planning to go into denial?

I knew him better than that. I knew that he would be feeling as awkward as me, and after the fight we’d had, I had no clue how we were supposed to have a “normal” working relationship again.

Slowly, I sat up, my head spinning a little. I suppose it was to be expected after the single most intense sexual experience of my life, but I needed to get to my own room, shower, and try to sleep before facing Dominic again.

I stepped into my dress, only so I wouldn’t have to walk down the hallway naked, and quickly picked up my bra and knickers.

God, could this get any more embarrassing?

In my own en-suite bathroom, I stripped off again and turned on the shower, letting the hot water wash Dominic from my skin.

Did I really bite him?

I couldn’t help myself. He had me fuming.

Have I always wanted to screw him?

Erica had asked me a million times. ‘Madison, are you sure you’re just the child minder? He pays you a lot of money for doing hardly anything’ Pushing aside the blatant insinuation that I was his weekend whore, I’d always told her the absolute truth. He’d never so much as looked at me inappropriately, let alone anything more. And I always saw him as … well, I knew he wasn’t bad to look at, but to me, he was Tilly’s dad. An employer, maybe even a friend. I’d never analysed it before. Never needed to.

Oh God.

Feeling slightly more human, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my head to dry my hair, and another around my body.

I didn’t expect to see Dominic sitting on the edge of my bed. He’d put his jeans back on, but hadn’t bothered with a shirt. There wasn’t much point being modest, but when he saw me emerge from the bathroom with only a towel for clothes he stood up.

“Shit, sorry,” he said. “I’ll go.”

“No. It’s fine,” I told him, as he started for the door.

It wasn’t really fine. In fact, everything felt weird, like the whole balance of the universe had been altered.

I stayed rooted to the spot. Waiting. Dominic’s eyes focused on a spot on the carpet near my feet, unable to meet my eye, presumably while some words formed in his head. I focused, rather embarrassingly, on his chest which was rising and falling slowly.

I left teeth marks!

“Do you think it’s possible for us to put that … that … behind us?” he asked. “I … it was …” He shook his head as if to clear it. “I am completely responsible for what happened, and I feel like I-”

“What? Took advantage of me?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you really think I’m incapable of making decisions for myself? Or that I’m some virgin whose innocence you just stole? The truth is, we took advantage of each other. We argued, we got carried away, and now … we’re here.”

He finally lifted his head, moving his gaze from my feet to my face. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just don’t want you to think that I’m … I don’t know what happened, I-”

“You don’t need to explain,” I interrupted. Especially if it’s going to end in you inadvertently insulting me. Whether the sex meant anything or not, it’s never nice to hear that you were a mistake. “I don’t think you’re some kind of secret deviant, I just think things went further than we meant them to, and now, you’re right, we have to put it behind us.”

The second the words left my lips, a chill ran through me. Like I was saying goodbye to something I hadn’t really got used to yet. It was probably for the best. Dwelling on a quickie with the boss wouldn’t make my job any easier.

“Thank you,” he said. “I think we both need to cool off before tomorrow. The things we said earlier … I don’t know how much of it either of us meant, but I do need your help with Tilly. Will you come out with us tomorrow? So we can talk.”

“Yeah. I will.”

Dominic turned to leave, head down, lost in thoughts.

“Dom?”