Sidelined (Game On 3)

She opened her window the whole way down as if it was a hot summer day and she wanted to catch some rays. Her grin was smugger than I’d ever seen before.

How could she do that to me? What did she think would happen? Jesse wasn’t like Radleigh; he would never get mad and freak out over this. He was gentle and kind and… dammit, I’d made a complete fool of myself. I couldn’t disguise the fact I was crying. I’d been a total dumbass, telling her my problems and thinking she’d keep them to herself. Now what? She’d opened up something I’d never intended to let out, and maybe killed my friendship with Jesse in the process.

“Why did you do that?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

Her laugh sent a chill down my spine. “You really are as pathetic as your friends think you are.”

My heart cracked in my chest and my entire body shook from the ice in her words. Spoken like fact. Not like I didn’t know how everyone saw me, but for her to remind me… it hurt bad.

“Oh relax,” she said. “If I’d told Jude, then you could be mad at me. Jesse’s too soft to hold this against you.”

“You humiliated me! Again!”

“And you humiliated me! You never once defended me to your friends and-”

“Oh, this is not the same thing! You tried to get Radleigh fired and arrested for sexual assault! Why would I defend you against that? I thought you’d changed.”

“I have changed. Now I pick my targets better. You’re so easy to manipulate. All I had to do was smile and you got sucked in. I-”

I cut her off by bringing the palm of my hand hard across her cheek then running back to the car, struggling to ignore the throbbing in my elbow. I didn’t even give myself time to enjoy the satisfaction of slapping her. I didn’t feel satisfied, only irreparably broken.

The wipers, even on full speed, couldn’t clear the water from the windshield fast enough.

The drive back from the studio was nothing compared to the drive home. Shaking, scared, hurt and ashamed, I manoeuvred the streets as the elements battered the car. I couldn’t hear anything except rain, wind and thunder, and every lightning flash robbed me of my eyesight. The whole drive back, I didn’t see another car. Through the raindrops, I did see bins blowing around the streets and trees threatening to snap and fall. I prayed hard for my safety, and when I finally pulled into my drive, tears flooded from my eyes again, and I thanked God for keeping me alive.

I wasn’t so sure He could help with the mess I’d made of everything else; I figured I’d asked enough for one day, anyway. I was breathing. Of course, every breath tore at my lungs, and I was freezing in drenched clothes for the second time.

I tried to kiss Jesse. Images flickered through my mind. The horror in his expression when I launched myself at him, and the joy on Taylor’s face when she saw me crying.

My phone rang, and a quick check showed me it was Jesse. He had to know I wouldn’t answer. I flicked the phone to silent so I wouldn’t have to hear anymore.

I ran from the car to the house, hugging my purse to my chest, and once under the cover of the porch I kicked off my shoes before going inside.

The warmth welcomed me home but I shivered where I stood, dripping rain w

ater onto the carpet. Too weighted down by everything to move.

“Bree?”

Jude’s footsteps echoed across the kitchen floor and his eyes widened when he saw me. I must have looked like I’d been through a carwash, soggy with hair stuck to my face and clothes clinging to my skin.

“What are you doing here?”

I managed to choke out a laugh. “I live here.”

“I told you to stay at Jesse’s!”

Jude advanced on me, gripping the tops of my arms. He surveyed me closely, as if checking for damage. “I can’t believe you drove home in this! The emergency services are being called out to help people who got stuck in the storm, and you drove home voluntarily? What the hell is wrong with you?”

All the pain, shock and fear gathered inside me, surging out as I pushed Jude away.

“Back off!” I yelled. “Back off and stop telling me what I can and can’t do!”

I dropped my purse on the floor and ran upstairs as fast as I could with wet clothes weighing me down. I went into our bedroom and into the adjoined bathroom, slamming and locking the door before sinking to the floor and sobbing.

I had no idea how much time passed before I peeled my shaking body from the floor and drew myself a bath. It felt like hours because I was so cold and tired and miserable. More than anything, I was mad. At Taylor, at Jude, at myself. Anger surged through me. It wasn’t fair to be mad at Jude for worrying about me but in the long line of times he’d told me not to do something, it just became another event to add to all the other times I’d been stifled by him.

When I eventually got out of the bath, wrapped in my robe, I found Jude sitting on the edge of our bed with his head down. My phone sat beside him.