Sidelined (Game On 3)

“Jesse called you,” Jude said, turning towards me. “Your purse was vibrating across the floor. I called him back to let him know you got home safe.”

My insides froze for a second. “What did he say to you?”

Jude shrugged. “Nothing much. He wanted to make sure you got home. He asked if you could call him tomorrow.”

I nodded, knowing I probably wouldn’t. I wasn’t ready for the awkwardness of that conversation. I didn’t think I’d ever be ready.

“Will you sit down?” Jude’s request was gentle and I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to keep the tears inside. When did looking at him make me want to run away? Did I even really feel that way? My mind was like a jigsaw puzzle someone had chopped into pieces, and nothing would fit back into place long enough for me to make sense of it. Just when I thought I’d started to put it together, another piece moved, flipped over, disappeared. Jude probably had his own jigsaw. No. He did. I saw it in his eyes every time he looked at me. I was his puzzle.

How could I solve it for him when I didn’t have the answers myself?

“Jude, would it be okay if I sleep in the spare room tonight?” I paused, swallowing the rising lump in my throat. “I want to talk, I just can’t right now.”

The hurt on his face surprised me, pained me. His eyes dimmed and a shiver of regret coursed through me. “I need you to answer one question first.”

“Jude, I can barely remember who I am tonight. I don’t think I can answer any questions more complicated than whether or not I want a hot chocolate. And the answer to that is yes.”

A smile flickered on Jude’s lips but it faded as fast as it appeared. “Did I do this to us?”

Unsure what “this” was I shook my head. “I don’t know how to answer you. Please. I want a hot drink, and to go to bed. Tomorrow we’ll talk.”

Even if I have no idea what to say. I gotta try.

Chapter 9 – Gone Too Soon

“Bree. Bree, wake up, please.”

Didn’t I only fall asleep a few minutes ago? The early morning light streaming through the gap in the curtains told me otherwise. Man, I’d virtually passed out around nine-thirty the night before even though I was sure I wouldn’t be able to sleep in one of the spare rooms. Stupid really, it used to be my bedroom before I got with Jude. I wasn’t used to it anymore, though. The room was alien, void of personal touches. Void of anything of mine.

“What time is it?” I mumbled, not fully conscious yet. Not conscious enough to remember the way I’d left things with Jude. Or any of the other things that had happened the day before.

“A little after seven. Bree, please. I need you to wake up.”

A tremble in his voice prompted me to blink a few times then open my eyes properly. Jude perched on the side of the bed, his eyes damp with tears.

“Jude.” I shuffled onto my side to face him, hair falling in front of my face.

With gentle fingers he pushed the escaped locks aside. “Something happened last night. I… I just got a call.”

Last night? The storm. I sprang into an upright position so fast Jude almost fell off the bed. What could have happened? I checked on everyone while I was at Jesse’s.

Jesse. Oh crap. The memories of him rejecting me hurtled into my head.

Don’t go there. Not now.

“What happened, Jude?”

His chest rose and fell a few times and he blinked away his tears. “It’s Will. When he was… he was trying to get home to Freya last night. The worst of the storm had passed and… he called her to tell her he was on his way.” He drew in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “It wasn’t as safe as he thought. The surface water on the roads… and it was still raining, and the wind… he lost control of the car. He… he didn’t make it home. Will’s dead.”

Jude bent his head, sobs shaking his shoulders.

Without any warning, two images flashed before me. My dad, lying in bed, pale and weak from illness right before he died. Then my mom, hanging from the ceiling, her body limp.

And me screaming. Screaming because I’d lost the two most important people in my life.

Will. Dead.

Something inside me shut down. An unexpected calmness ran through me, almost as if I’d been expecting this news, which obviously I totally hadn’t.