I hadn't meant to let those words fall from my lips so easily, but they'd been stuck inside me for so long, I couldn't stop them. Didn't want to. Because if those words scared him, then there was never going to be a chance for us. Never. If he felt even half of what I felt for him, he wouldn't be scared.
"Charley," he breathed. "I love you too. Please. Can we please give us a try? For real this time?"
Chapter 15
Brayden
There was a long pause. Even though she’d just told me she loved me, that didn’t mean she’d return to the U.K. It didn’t mean she wanted to do anything about those feelings other than try to get rid of them. And I would have deserved that too.
The fact was, I’d screwed up everything we had, and I’d spent the last few weeks trying to figure out how to move on from her.
But I couldn’t. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I tortured myself over and over about what a freaking idiot I’d been to let my thoughts and worries get the best of me. Honestly, if she’d told me she never wanted to hear from me again, it would have all been my own fault.
“Bray.” She sighed, and her brown eyes shone with tears. “You hurt me. I was ready to give up what I have here because I wanted to be with you more than anything. I believed you wanted that too, but then you pulled the rug right out from underneath me, and I… it just really hurt.”
My heart throbbed in my chest because I could hear it in her voice and see it on her face. She was still hurt. Even though she was listening, that didn’t erase how I’d made her feel.
“I know. I just… at the time you seemed kind of okay with it and-”
“What did you expect?” she asked, wiping her eyes with her sleeve then tucking her hand inside. “I couldn’t exactly tell you I w
asn’t happy about it, could I? No promises, remember? I thought if I told you I hated it then you’d think I was a bunny boiler.”
I laughed at her phrasing, and she chuckled too. “I wouldn’t have thought that.”
She shrugged.
“Charley, if I could go back to the night we met, I would have done a lot of things differently. I would have got to you earlier, and I would have left later because I wanted more time. I’ll always want more time. And I would never have made that no promises rule.”
“I wanted to make the promise too,” she said. “I thought by doing that, it would keep me safe. Stop me from expecting too much and from getting my heart broken. I guess that didn’t really work out.”
I closed my eyes, wishing there was a way I could just go back and make my idiot brain not doubt everything. Make myself believe in what I actually already knew.
Charley was everything.
“Let me fix it,” I said. Her eyes locked on to mine. “I’ve been a fucking idiot. I panicked over stupid things when I should have just told you what I was thinking, and now I know better. I should have always known better. I just… I made a mistake. I just want to fix it.”
I didn’t take my eyes from hers as I waited. I could see from her expression that she was weighing it all up. Thinking over all I’d said and done and deciding whether I was worth another shot.
“What are you really asking?” she said eventually. “What do you want?”
“You. Us. I want everything we should be having right now.”
“And until I get home?”
“The answer is the same. I’m ready to make the promise now. I always was.”
Chapter 16
Charley
Present
"So... that's the story," I say, feeling a bit sick at having gone over it all again. Re-living all of that pain only served to make my questions and concerns loud again.
"So why are you so nervous?" Anita asks. "Sounds like it's meant to be."
"Because... what if I'm wrong? What if... what if he's just another guy? My next ex-boyfriend."