Into the Darkness

I climbed into bed that night, trying to shut my mind down, but I couldn’t. I grabbed my cell and did what I had put off doing for seven years: I typed her name into a search engine.

There were random photos of other girls, no one who looked like her. I scrolled through, desperate to find anything. It must have been on the sixth page where I found a small picture. I clicked on the thumbnail; it linked me to a Harvard class website. There was a picture of Charlotte with a guy, Logan. I recognized him immediately. She was smiling, she looked happy. Were they together after I left? I could feel the anger brewing again but I knew I had no right to feel this way. I switched off my cell knowing I had made it even worse for myself. Why the fuck couldn’t I just let this go? There was too much history between us, and I needed her to know how much I regretted my actions. I acted like a timid little coward and I should have followed my instincts, I should have followed my heart. For seven years I buried what we had and drowned myself in my work. Yes it paid off but was it worth it in the end? I tossed and turned all night, finally falling asleep at the ass crack of dawn.

…

“Lex, hold still or I can’t get it in!”

I stood in my hotel suite, my sister Adriana fussing all over me. The bowtie she bought wasn’t cooperating and as usual it was the biggest emergency ever. My attempt to cancel was foiled by Adriana giving me a list of clients who would be attending and therefore dubbed the event as a huge business opportunity. I hated these events. It was a parade of people showing off who had the biggest checkbook. Fair enough, it was for charity, but these leaches donated so their businesses would be all over the media. I would have happily donated the money and not attend, but when you are related to Adriana Edwards there is no such luxury.

“OK, done.” She pulled back, admiring her work. “You scrub up well, big brother. Thanks to me.”

“If it wasn’t for the suit I would have no hope in hell with the ladies. Listen Adriana, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Is it an apology for how you hurt my feelings and left the restaurant in a huff?”

“Uhh, no…but I am sorry. Look, you know that wedding bullshit is too much for me.”

“Not to anger the beast again, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

I had been putting it off ever since it happened. Now was the time to bring it up. My head was still a mess and only Adriana knew the whole story. If anyone could make me understand what the hell was going on it was my sister, Charlotte’s former best friend.

“What is it?” she asked. She was distracted, fixing her gown in the mirror. It was a beautiful navy gown, Valentino I remember her saying. Like I gave a shit but she still looked good in it.

“I saw Charlotte.”

She stopped adjusting her dress, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror before she abruptly turned around. “Where and when?” Her voice was anxious. I knew what Charlotte meant to Adriana. Their friendship was a big part of her life that I screwed up for her. Another person caught up in the shitstorm I created.

“I had a lunch meeting the other day. She was there at the restaurant with a guy.” I clenched at the thought again. I needed to get rid of him. I hadn’t even thought of how yet.

“Oh my God, Lex. Seriously out of all places, here? Did you speak to her?”

“Yes I did. She was angry. I wasn’t expecting her to be after all these years. I wanted a chance to explain but she said to not bother—it was just a high school fling.” I could still feel the sting from those words.

“But Lex, it wasn’t just a high school fling. So you didn’t get a chance to explain to her what happened with Samantha and the baby?”

“No I didn’t, she was quick to run off to her…fiancé.” I gritted my teeth.

“Fiancé? How do you know? Maybe it was just a friend.” I could hear the hope in her voice. Adriana, ever the optimist.

“The huge ring on her finger was a dead giveaway. I asked and she angrily answered that he was her fiancé.”

“Lex, why did you do that? You know if she is anything like me, you probably pushed her closer to him.”

“Oh gee, thanks sis. What a wonderful thought to have in my head.” I was getting angry. Did I really do that? Fuck, this was making it worse. I sat down in the lounge, bowing my head as I ran my fingers through my hair.

“How did she look?” Adriana finally asked.

I was staring at the carpet, trying to calm down. I looked up at Adriana, her face full of sorrow. “Beautiful.”

Our conversation was interrupted as Elijah walked in the room followed by an attractive blonde woman.

“Brooke, please meet my brother Lex. Lex, this is Brooke.”

She was pretty, short blonde hair, blue eyes, but I wasn’t interested. There was only one I wanted now. But I acted like the gentleman my mother raised me to be. I leaned in and kissed Brooke’s cheek. After a quick chat, it was time to head out. I lingered behind her as my sister quickly pulled me aside.

“Lex, I know you’re hurting. I promise we’ll talk more about this later,” Adriana whispered as we walked out.

Hurt? Was that what this was? First, after I saw her I wanted to apologize, second I wanted to fuck the living daylights out of her. Now I didn’t know what to do, but for tonight I would do what I did best: act like the arrogant CEO I was known to be, better tha