Into the Darkness

“Sounds great.” I gave her my number and she returned hers. We agreed to meet up when she was back in the city. I was looking forward to it. She was different from my other friends, not as dramatic. Yes, Bull’s, Eric and Adriana were drama queens just in case you couldn’t tell.

“Thanks for listening. Hope you get closer to solving your problem with Mr. Right who is playing Mr. Wrong but is secretly Mr. Right.” She giggled, saying goodbye and I waved back as she ran off.

I tried my best to dive into our Monday morning meeting and distract myself with work but that dream kept replaying in my mind and I wanted to see him so bad that after lunch I caved in and emailed him. I knew he would be on the plane so I didn’t expect an instant response but when his email finally came through, my heart jumped around like a lovesick fool’s. The rest of the day we emailed back and forth until he asked me if I missed him. I wanted to call him and tell him about my dream, how the thought of it becoming a reality sent shivers throughout me but in a good way. Still, I didn’t know exactly what type of relationship he wanted and so the guard stayed up, the one that reminded me every day to be cautious, to not get hurt because if that was to happen again, there was no way I would ever recover.

I tossed and turned the entire night, not sure if I actually fell asleep or not. I grabbed my cell and did what I was desperate to do: I answered his question and told him I missed him. Much like skydiving, you hang on till the very last minute questioning your decision until finally that voice says you cannot chicken out and to have faith then that slight push till you’re free-falling. Okay, so I am still forever cursing Rocky for making me do that. I swear I nearly shit my pants and it didn’t help that my instructor was smoking hot so his wang pointing into my back the entire fall did nothing to help me either. I hit send. There, it was done and now I could sleep.

The next few days dragged on but I kept myself as busy as possible. Spending time with Will brightened my mood. Shopping with Eric proved to be a stress reliever, right up until we entered Victoria’s Secret with Eric’s intention of buying stuff for Lex to see on me… Damn him.

“Charlie, seriously you would rock this.” He held up a fluorescent pink thong which actually was just a piece of string.

“Eric, what do you think is the purpose of that?”

“I don’t know…to floss the folds?”

I burst out laughing unable to control myself. Eric joined me. He seriously had no clue about women or what goes on down there.

“How about this?” He held up some lacy number.

I rolled my eyes. We searched through the store and I picked up a few new items. As we were leaving there was a set that caught my eye. It was a nurse’s outfit but it wasn’t your typical dress with boobs popping out. It was a white and red corset with little bows down the side. It came with a short white robe and garters. It was fucking hot. “Hold on a minute.” I grabbed my size and went to the counter.

“So I guess Lex likes it when you play doctors and nurses then?” he teased. I smirked back. If only he knew.

As the days passed I was amazed at how much work I achieved. I finally closed the Vandercamp case and of course Mrs. Vandercamp was elated. Turns out Mr. Vandercamp’s mistress left him as well so she was celebrating for two reasons. I normally don’t mix business with pleasure but when she invited me out for a celebratory drink, I didn’t hesitate.

It was probably my first weekend in God knows how long where I spent it by myself. Apart from Saturday morning attending Will’s ball game, I spent most of the day doing boring stuff. The usual laundry, cleaning the apartment and so on. By late Saturday afternoon I was feeling restless and texted Adriana asking her if I could come over. I got up from my couch and dressed into my jeans and leather jacket. Reaching at the back of my closet I grabbed my helmet. I still remember the day when Rocky and Bull’s scolded me for purchasing a motorbike. It was an impulse buy and I always wanted to learn how to ride. I promised them I would take lessons, which I did. The instructor was smokin’ hot. Yes, he was one of my five. It lasted three minutes. Three minutes of my life I would never get back. I don’t know why Rocky made such a big deal out of me buying a bike since he borrowed it nearly every other weekend.

My favorite place to ride was over the Brooklyn Bridge. As I revved the bike I felt that adrenalin running through me. It was a thrill and I loved every second of it. I don’t know why I didn’t do it more often, lack of time I guess. I parked the bike and pulled my helmet off letting my hair loose. I pressed the buzzer to be greeted by Adriana.

“Char! That was quick. How on Earth did you… NO FREAKING WAY!” She raced down the steps to my bike. “OMG I love it! It’s so Dylan McKay back in the 90210 days!” she squealed while jumping on and grabbing the helmet off me. She sat on the bike pretending to ride it. “Take me for a ride, pretty please?” she begged

“I didn’t bring my other helmet. Actually it’s permanently in Rocky’s closet now.”

She pouted before peeling herself off. Disappointed, she took me upstairs. Elijah was on the couch playing some Xbox game. He stopped to hug me then resumed his playing. Adriana led me to her guest room which took me by surprise. It had been turned into Wedding Central.

“Okay so I’ve narrowed it down to the pale pink or lilac dress. Can you please try them on?”

I didn’t mind, I was just happy Adriana would finally get her fairy tale wedding. In true Adriana style, this was going to be one fancy event. Every tiny detail was written, drawn or pictured on her drawing board.

“Where’s your dress, Adriana?” I had been waiting a lifetime to see this. I mean she had been picking out wedding dresses since we were eight but I could only assume her taste had changed a lot since then.

“Ahh yes, all will be revealed. I want you, Eric and Nikki at the final fitting.”

“We’ll be there, wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I smiled.

As I tried both dresses on we agreed that the pink was the one, although it was a little tight of course in the bust area.

“Char, you have a killer body. I would die to have your boobs. They are so full.” She grabbed my boobs which caught me

off guard so I smacked her hands away. “I’m guessing Lex doesn’t complain…” she teased.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

She sat on the floor placing pins on the hem where she would alter the dress. I stood there still, a little caught up in the moment. I wondered what it would be like to be standing one day being fitted for my own wedding dress. It would be lace, something simple yet classic. I wasn’t one for big weddings. Just something intimate with close family and friends. Shit, why was I thinking about this again?

“Did you think that one day you would marry him?” she asked, hesitating slightly. The question caught me off guard. Of course I had, once upon a time, but that dream was shattered and in my mind I had painted a very different picture of Lex. The man I had once envisioned was dead to me, he was ever since he left me. But I no longer felt that way, did I?

“I don’t know. You know I was never one of those chicks that dreamed of their wedding day since they were born…like you.” I smiled as she smiled back. “I didn’t think of the future, I only ever thought of that very moment. We were young, well I was young. Eighteen was too young for me to think of marriage.”