“You let me walk into Charlie’s house without telling me your girlfriend would be there? Oh, sorry, is that fiancée? I’m not sure what I should call her.” Morgan fumes in an arctic tone. “Imagine my surprise when I see her sitting with our daughter?”
I attempt to keep my voice down not to wake Olivia and Nash. “Morgan, what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Kate,” she seethes, raising her voice. “You didn’t even give me the respect of telling me you were fucking her!”
“We’re not fucking. Will you calm down?”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down? Is that why you went to Paris? To go chasing after the woman you’ve been in love with our entire marriage? Tell me, Noah, did I ever have a chance with you? Or was she always the one?”
I keep silent, no fight left in me to argue with her. When it comes to women, Morgan and Olivia are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Olivia isn’t one to argue. She’s very respectful of other people and communicates without drama. Morgan, on the other hand, is an emotionally-charged woman. A goddamn bitch when she wants to be.
“I figured you’d stay silent,” she sneers. “And you know what hurts the most? I did the right thing, Noah. I told you about Callum, then asked if it was okay to meet Jessa. I knew you were angry, so I gave you space to process. But you didn’t care. You let her sit with my daughter like they were best friends. Not only that, she had the audacity to call my daughter a liar when I questioned her. Goddammit, Noah, I’m her mother! How dare you allow that!”
“Morgan, I’ve been occupied, Olivia had—”
“Don’t talk to me about your personal life. I don’t want to hear about you marrying Kate and playing happy family or about the other women in your life. In fact, don’t talk to me. If you need to contact me, you can go through your lawyer, and don’t you dare think of stepping foot in my home to see your daughter.”
The line goes dead.
I bury my head in my hands, wishing this nightmare to disappear. No matter what I do, I can’t gain any control in my life. And just when I admit my feelings to Kate, begging her to be honest because I can’t go on living this lie like I don’t feel anything, her actions cause a bigger headache in my life.
Morgan has every right to be upset because, frankly, I’d react the same way.
With exhaustion weighing heavy on my shoulders, I shut down my laptop and lay on the sofa. I often thought the world would be a better place without me in it. Each day, I’m paying for my mistakes. The challenge of recovering is becoming harder with every breath I take.
Yet from the smallest of windows, I’ve experienced happiness again. Kate brought all that back into my life in just one weekend. But now, the reality is coming into full vision. Kate will never understand my lifestyle and the demands of being a parent. Despite Morgan’s earlier outburst, I don’t blame her, but no way in hell will I allow her to gain full custody of Jessa.
And she’s revealed the truth, something I’ve buried for years. I never forgot about Kate during my marriage. She was always there in the back of my mind, a constant comparison to Morgan. It was unfair. Perhaps Morgan is right—we never really had a chance.
It’s all a fucking mess, and somehow, I need to start cleaning it all up to avoid losing the only thing that matters to me.
My children.
KATE
Charlie had gone all out planning Amelia’s birthday party.
Amelia is anything but the traditional girl, repelling anything involving fairies, unicorns, or the color pink. Addison, the complete opposite of her older sister, is wearing a princess dress every day and demands everyone call her Belle. Ava, being the middle child, is a mixture of the two.
Lex and Charlie’s house is sprawled across acres with views of the canyons, an expensive piece of real estate attached to a generous price tag. I still recall the day Lex put in the offer, the staggering amount he paid because, honestly, the man can do anything.
The house is decorated with a supernatural theme and a large UFO bouncy castle in the yard. There are pretend aliens scattered across the lawn, the attention to detail meticulous as they were loaned from a movie set.
We spent hours
last night preparing, from favor bags to baking cookies in the shape of UFOs. Charlie insisted on handmaking everything herself aside from the cake. During the night, I wondered if Lex summoned me here to simply assist with the party’s preparation. However, it did take my mind off Noah.
Outside on the patio is a long table with a green tablecloth covering it. We presented it as a grazing table, including a blob of Jell-O, which looks like a brain. It grossed me out last night, and this morning, I still felt the exact level of disgust.
“You really know how to pull off a fantastic kids’ party,” I praise Charlie while rearranging the platters on the table to fit more snacks for the kids. “My mother’s idea of a birthday party was store-bought cake and balloons my brothers blew up only to suck the helium out of them.”
“As you Brits so fondly say, I’m buggered,” Charlie drags, a yawn escaping her. “And it hasn’t even started.”
Guests start arriving an hour later to a very excited birthday girl. The kids run straight for the UFO bouncy castle, laughter and screams suddenly echoing in the previously quiet yard.
Julian walks into the backyard along with Adriana. He’s carrying a large gift with a navy bow on top, looking rather sexy in a pair of chino shorts, a black tee, and a pair of stark-white sneakers. Despite my resentment toward him years ago when he was trying to claim Charlie back, I’d be a fool to admit the man isn’t handsome. He’s one of those men who walk into a room, and all eyes turn to look at him. Just like Noah, Haden, and although it pains me to admit it, Lex too.
And I hate that seeing Adriana happily beside him drags to the surface my buried feelings toward Noah. I’ve always been the single one in the group, and it never bothered me until this very moment.