All the feelings, the emotions, were vicious and cruel, relentless with their pursuit in destroying me. The shock and sorrow strangle me; a cord wrapped around my neck, making it difficult even to breathe.
But then, it becomes too much—and I start to feel numb.
There is no sense of time, there is no tear to shed, and with that comes a strange comfort in knowing I’d abandoned all hope.
I’m barely alive.
Doctors and nurses would tell me things, but the words drown out. The words don’t change anything.
Ashley Stone is dead.
And inside this room is my son on life support.
My mother handles the questions while I sit and stare. I’m not sure what I’m waiting for, far from wishing for a miracle. My head is underwater, and the idea of drowning is a welcoming thought because perhaps it will then be all over.
“Will,” my mother pleads, “we need some information to help answer a few questions.”
My words are swallowed, my tongue is tied, I’m unable to speak.
There is nothing I can do anymore.
What’s the point?
I don’t answer. I walk away, back to the sterile corridor and eyes fixated on the blank wall.
Fluorescent lights line the long hallway in which I sit, but I might as well be sitting in darkness. The spark, the light, any glimmer of hope has washed away.
This is my life now.
These are the ramifications of my actions.
As my journey grows further into a dark abyss, there is a faint light in the distance. It’s barely a glow, but I’m drawn to it, and it is warmth, and I realize it is Amelia.
She sits beside me, radiating a blanket of comfort and placing it all over my cold-ridden body. I close my eyes, my senses all coming back.
The smell of the air, the taste of my own lips.
The breath I begin to take.
The beat of my heart.
All the emotions I’d suppressed come fighting for attention. Why Ashley? Why did I deserve to be sitting here? Am I blessed to be living and breathing, or is this a punishment for my wrongdoing?
Then, it all goes silent.
All the noise drowns out.
The only sound I hear, loud and encompassing, is the quickened beat of a heart.
It’s beautiful.
A melody I’ve known for the longest of time.
And it belongs to the woman beside me—a woman who has come here despite my mistakes. There is no judgment in her fallen expression, there is only pain—a reflection of me.
Amelia is my home.
My family.