Casual Affair

Instantly, he regretted his impulsive words. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.

He’d planned to tell her tomorrow night, after the launch, preferably when they were in bed. He wasn’t supposed to just blurt it out in the middle of an argument.

Shit.

Too late now.

She slowly turned back around to face him, her face slack, eyes wide. “What job?”

Hell. Might as well jump in with both feet.

“Envision is going to open up five more brick-and-mortar stores over the next year. Three in the States and two in the UK Peter and I have been so impressed with your work that we want Paxton Designs to be the official interior designer of all the stores, thereby extending your contract. Our idea was for you to head up the London division with me, and for Felicity to handle everything in the U.S.”

Bea was breathing heavier and her face had lost some of its color. “Meaning, I would have to move to London? With you? You and I would be working together for another year…in London?” She sounded almost incredulous.

He tried to keep his voice calm, but his words came out harsher than intended. “Would that really be so horrible?”

She didn’t respond. Instead, she took a step back, panic taking over her features.

Not a chance. He wanted an answer.

He stalked right after her. “I thought you’d be happy. It’s a lot of money, more than enough to pay off all your loans. A big job to add to your résumé. There’s no question it would be good for Paxton Designs.”

“We don’t need your charity to pay off our loans, Zane,” she retorted. “We’ve got it covered.”

He jerked back. “Bloody hell, it’s not charity,” he ground out. “This is a job offer. Based on the merits of your job performance. It’s not like I’m handing you this opportunity just because I’m fucking you. You’ve earned this, Bea.”

She flinched at the bite in his tone and swallowed thickly. “Did Peter really want us? Or was it all your idea?”

Zane crossed his arms over his chest, choosing not to answer her question. “This isn’t about the money or the business. This is all about me. Why do you all of a sudden have a problem with spending time with me?” He wouldn’t allow her to avoid this conversation anymore.

“It would mean a freaking lot of time together, Zane!” she practically yelled, throwing her hands up. “I would have to move to London and basically uproot my life. We would be traveling together, working side by side. For an entire year. Not to mention you would basically be my boss.”

“Well, now I’m lost. Are you upset that you would be around me so much or that you would have to answer to me?”

She ran her hands through her hair, her agitation growing. “I don’t know. Both! You’re just…everywhere. All the time. One day my life is carefree, no drama. Just me. And I was fine with that. The next day, you’re there every time I turn around. I wake up to you, I go to bed with you. I’m constantly talking to you during the day, whether it’s on the phone or in person. Even at work, you’re hovering nonstop. I feel like I can’t take a step back and catch my breath, because you’re taking over my entire life.”

Wow.

He felt like his heart was in a vise.

And an icy chill swallowed him whole.

“Jesus. I didn’t realize I was suffocating you so much. Forgive me for wanting to get to know you better and for actually enjoying the time we spend together. Clearly, that was one-sided.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, so he turned to leave. Her next words didn’t help much.

“I just need to feel like I’m in control of my own life. And lately, it feels like it’s been the complete opposite. Like everything is just spinning out of control.”

“Trust me,” he snapped, turning back to look at her. “I’ve learned exactly how independent you have to be.”

Her eyes shot open. “I take my independence very seriously, Zane. I’ve worked hard to be self-sufficient, and I’m not going to let anyone come in and take all of that away from me.”

He shook his head sadly. “I’m not trying to take anything away from you, Bea. Your self-reliance is something I’ve admired since the moment I met you. But what you’re talking about has nothing to do with independence. It has to do with the fact that you’re scared shitless of actually feeling something for another human being. Because that would mean you’d have to let them in, to trust and rely on someone else. And that terrifies the crap out of you.”