Casual Affair

You are such an idiot, Bea Paxton.

After all, why would he bother coming back? She had pretty much told him she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Even though she had changed her mind about that weeks ago, he didn’t know it. And she hadn’t dared to even look up the ETI London office phone number because she was terrified to have him hang up on her if she called.

Hopelessness and misery were her constant companions these days.

Before Zane, she had been content with nothing more than casual sex, because she had been convinced there was no one out there worth giving up her freedom for. Someone who would make casual sex seem empty and unsatisfying.

Then one day, she’d gone paintballing.

And her whole world had changed.

Now, she knew the kind of better that was out there. Now, everything before Zane seemed meaningless. Now, it was as if she were starving for him, but the only thing she had to eat was tofu.

Now, she was considering taking a job in London.

Everything felt upside down and backward, and she was kicking to the surface, desperate for air.

Nothing else in her life seemed to matter much anymore, not even Paxton Designs. With Zane halfway across the world, she couldn’t find the effort to care about anything except running—the only thing that cleared her head, at least for a little while.

In early November, she and Felicity traveled to Atlanta for a four-day design convention. The event was a great opportunity to make new contacts, but she could hardly muster the will to shake hands with people. Thus breaking one of her cardinal rules. She had always sworn that she would never allow her personal life to affect her professional one, no matter what was going on with her.

So much for that idealistic nonsense.

When she walked into their hotel room after her run, it was clear that Felicity had reached the limits of her patience. Bea managed to make it into the shower without getting pounced on, but after she came out there was no escaping her sister.

“All right, I wasn’t going to say anything,” Felicity began, confronting her with her hands on her hips. “I told myself to stay out of it and let you come to your senses on your own, but I can’t take it anymore. Nothing’s changed, and I’m getting really sick of this zombie trip that you’ve been in since Zane left. I’m putting an end to it right now.”

Bea masked the effect of hearing Zane’s name by taking long pulls of her water bottle. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Felicity rolled her eyes. “Don’t deflect. You’ve never been able to hide things from me. Besides, we live together, so I know how little you leave your room when you get home from work. I know how mopey you’ve been ever since the Envision Tech launch. And I also know how little you’ve been eating and how often you’ve been working out. You’ve lost weight, Bea, and frankly, you’re starting to scare me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I—”

Her sister held up her hand to cut her off. “The time has come for me to light a fire under your ass. I probably should have said this weeks ago, but I’m saying it now.”

Bea capped her water bottle with a frustrated grunt. “What?”

Felicity turned to fully face her with her most stern face, forcing Bea to hold her gaze and wait for the proverbial ball to drop. “Shit or get off the pot, big sister.”

She had no idea how to respond to that. Felicity being all direct was a rare thing.

“I’m serious,” Felicity continued, walking over to sit beside Bea on the bed. “I know it’s because Zane went back to London. You have not been handling it well. What happened between you two, anyway?”

Bea felt her eyes water, but she didn’t want to shed more tears. She had already cried enough over him. “Work’s just had me a little more stressed lately. It has nothing to do with Zane.”

“Bullshit,” Felicity spat out. “I’m not blind or stupid. You’ve never acted like this before. Talk to me. Tell me what happened.”

Bea felt her walls crumbling down, and she was too tired to hold them up anymore. With her eyes squeezed shut and tears starting to roll down her cheeks, she whispered, “He’s gone. He left me.”