Casual Affair

Felicity tipped her head at the one question Bea had mulled over the most, the one she was most afraid of. “I don’t follow.”

“You can love more than one person in your lifetime,” Bea said. “Not all couples are meant to be together for the rest of their lives. Not all love is meant to last forever. What if Zane and I are one of those couples? We might love each other and have fun together. But what if there’s nothing deeper? Maybe there’s a reason he’s in London and I’m still here. Maybe we’re just two shi—”

“If you say you’re just two ships passing in the night, I’m going to have to throw something at you,” Felicity said, cutting her off. “Bea Paxton does not speak in clichés. You’ve got to snap out of this funk.” Her sister walked over and placed her hands on Bea’s shoulders. “From what I’m hearing, the love you two have is more than temporary, and I think you know it.”

Bea threw her hands up in exasperation. “Well, what would you call it? If it’s love, and was truly meant to be, it wouldn’t be this hard. Would it?”

Felicity’s expression turned pensive. “Sometimes it is this hard, though. Look at Gwen and Clay and what they had to go through. Lots of couples have tough times before their happily ever after.”

Bea swallowed. “I suppose. But…”

“To be honest, I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you. I never thought I’d see the day my sister would admit to being afraid of anything.” Felicity’s eyes sparked, as if she had just figured something out. “You know, I think I just figured out why Breakfast at Tiffany’s is your favorite movie. You and Holly Golightly are basically the same person.”

Bea’s eyebrows shot up. “What, now?”

“Think about it. What does Paul say to Holly in the closing scene? Remember? He tells her that she’s afraid someone is going to put her in a cage, that she’s afraid of being loved. Because it would stop her from being a free spirit, a wild thing. But then what does he say?”

Bea lowered her head in shame, knowing exactly where her sister was going with this, and she was reluctant to admit her faults.

She took a cleansing breath. “He tells her she’s already in a cage and that she’s built it herself. That she takes it with her no matter where she goes, because anywhere she runs, she just ends up running into herself.”

Which sounded exactly like Bea.

How had she never noticed that before?

Felicity nodded. “Exactly. It’s never supposed to be easy. If it was, how would you ever know what’s worth keeping? How would you know how much he really means to you? The struggles and the fights…they make you realize how far you’re willing to go, and how hard you’re willing to try, for the other person. So what you have to ask yourself is, would you rather wade through the hard times and fight for this man, or would you rather just let him go?”

Bea didn’t have to think long about her answer. If she had learned anything since Zane left, it was that she couldn’t take the distance or live with the separation. She had never been happier than when they were together. When she painted everything in black and white, the answer was obvious.

Zane was fun. They always had a blast together, no matter what they were doing.

Zane was smart. He worked hard, was part owner of an international company, and had also been a huge success with his own software patent.

Zane was funny. He totally got her dry, sarcastic humor and always reciprocated with his own brand that had her in constant stitches.

Zane was sexy. He’d picked up on what she needed within the first ten seconds of getting her naked. His dominant side in the bedroom balanced out her overactive controlling side, letting her know when it was okay to give someone else the reins. And he never stopped pleasuring her until her body was completely sated.

So many areas of her life were gray.

But sometimes, black and white just made sense.

“Screw the distance. And screw the Atlantic Ocean.”

“That’s the Paxton spirit I like to hear,” Felicity said.

Bea hadn’t realized she’d said all of that out loud.