“Please don’t hide from me,” I whispered.
“I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have asked you to come.” His voice was empty. Completely vacant of any emotion or feeling, and my blood ran cold at the sound.
“Why?”
“Because…” he paused, and my heart fractured as his lower lip trembled. “You just… you don’t need this in your life. Please go. I deserve to be alone.”
He closed his eyes, succeeding in blocking me out completely, and I swallowed hard to shift the thick clog of emotion that had settled there.
“Ash.” His name was hardly more than a breath on my lips, but I knew he heard me. In a second of frustration, he clenched his fist and pounded it down on the bed, catching my hand as he did so. I pulled my fingers away quickly, gasping, my reflexes working faster than my brain, because it hurt; he’d probably bruised my fingers, but he hadn’t known my hand was there.
He flicked his head towards me, his eyes wide with shock and regret and… fear? Does he expect me to retaliate? Was this what that bitch had turned him into? A man who was angry and afraid?
His entire body had gone rigid, like he was waiting for me to raise my hand, and when I didn’t move and my tears fell faster, he shook his head slowly. “Evie, please just go. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry, but you have to go. I can’t… I don’t deserve you being here. Not after what I did.”
Not wanting to distress him anymore as he’d started shaking again, I took my time moving my hand towards his again. His eyes followed my movements until I placed my hand over his, our palms meeting. I rested my fingers across his but didn’t grip. I wanted him to make that choice. He’d had his space invaded more than enough with Natalie’s attack.
“If you really want me to go, I will,” I said gently. His eyes stayed on our almost joined hands. “But please don’t push me away. Please.”
“I hurt you,” he whispered. “Like she hurt me.”
I shook my head. “No. It was an accident, Ash.”
“That was what she said to me sometimes. It was an accident.”
An accident.
A fucking accident.
This wasn’t an accident. This was violent and cruel.
“But you know, for her, it wasn’t true,” I said quietly.
He nodded. “Yeah. And now I’m in here. I guess I got what I deserved.”
“How? How have you deserved this?” My fingers softly stroked the palm of his hand.
“I… I should have… I shouldn’t have…” He stopped as more choked sobs left him, and I so badly wanted to hug him, but I was scared to. Scared to overstep, scared to frighten him, scared of hurting him. My own tears continued to fall as I waited, and he eventually said, “I didn’t do anything to her, Evie. I know the police are going to think that, because, why else would someone do what she did? But I didn’t do anything to her. I never would have hurt her.”
“I know that. You just… you just have to tell them the truth.”
He gave a single nod, his eyes looking back up to the ceiling. “Thank you for coming. But… you should go home. You shouldn’t have to had come here on Christmas Day and see me like this.”
“I never want to see you like this again, but I’m not going anywhere. Not unless you have me thrown out.”
“You shouldn’t want to be here. I’m nothing to you. I’m nobody.”
“Then why’d you ask for me? If you thought you meant nothing to me, why would you ask for me?”
“Because… you’re the only person I could think of. The only person I know.”
“Look at me, Ash.” He shook his head. “Please.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I know you’re just being nice. You don’t want to be here taking care of some guy you hardly know. I’m sorry. I don’t need to see that in your eyes because I already know.”