Unintended

“That’s the one,” Evie said, placing her finger on one of the designs in the book.

I looked down to see she’d chosen an open umbrella, with a hand holding onto it and a bit of an arm, as if it were reaching out, offering the umbrella to someone. There were raindrops all around the umbrella, and each section was a different bright colour.

“Why an umbrella?” I asked.

Her eyes flicked up to look at me before gazing back at the picture. “Well, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About the things that happened to me, and to you. Neither of us would probably still be here if it wasn’t for the fact that we have friends. Sure, a lot of the things we’ve gotten through have been because of our strength, but we all need help sometimes. So, I guess it’s kind of a metaphor. When it’s raining, if you look hard enough, there’s always someone out there who’s willing to hold out an umbrella for you, to keep you dry.”

Her cheeks flushed a little, like she was embarrassed by how much thought she’d put into this. Like she’d exposed a vulnerability, or a part of herself she hadn’t meant to share.

I smiled. “I like that.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” I looked over at Dave, who was walking towards us. “Maybe I should get one too.”

Her eyes widened. “Really?”

I nodded. “As long as you don’t mind that I’m stealing one of the things on your to-do list. And they can fit me in today too. Before I change my mind.”

Evie laughed. “I don’t mind. But, would you get an umbrella too?”

“If that isn’t too weird.”

I hadn’t really thought about the connotations of that, and now I could feel my cheeks warming. Would she think I was trying to engage in some odd friendship bonding ritual, or that I was some weirdo trying to get closer to her by us getting matching tattoos? I mean, we had met in the rain. She had literally held her umbrella over me, the night I was considering suicide. It made sense in so many ways, but I didn’t want it to seem like I was being creepy.

She laughed. “As long as we’re not getting each other’s names on the tattoos, I think we’re fine.”

“Yeah, I’m not that stupid. Tattooing names somehow always equals disaster.”

It was the classic tale. Two people get their names tattooed on each other, and then, shortly after, something bad happens and those two people are stuck with a bad memory forever. At least with an umbrella, Evie’s metaphor would always make sense if anyone ever asked about it.

Evie was about to answer when Dave stopped in front of us and said, “I’m ready for you, Evie, if you’ve found something suitable.”

“I’m ready,” she said, although apprehension crossed her face as she glanced at the chair she was about to sit in. Then she looked at me, grinning. “Is there anyone else free? My friend here wants one too.”

What better way was there to spend the B&B money my mum gave me? Okay, yeah, it could have gone towards my deposit, but Evie’s impulsiveness was rubbing off on me. Maybe because I wanted to go into the new year with something new. Something other than crippling anxiety and a string of self-doubt.

Dave nodded and turned, calling over to the guy behind the counter. “Yo, Jimmy. Got a job for you.”

Jimmy looked like almost every young guy who came into the club I worked in. All dressed in black, face piercings, and spiked up black hair. He stood up, smiling. “Do you know what you want?”

I nodded, pointing to the same umbrella Evie showed me. “But can you make it less… girly?”

Jimmy laughed. “Sure. I can make yours plain black if you want?”

“That’ll do for me.”

“Okay,” Evie said with a deep sigh, looking more and more terrified with each passing second. “Let’s do this.”

Some time later, Evie and I left the tattoo shop, both of us smiling, but Evie more than me. As we got outside onto the street, she gripped the front of my jacket and jumped up and down.

“I did it, Ash! I did one thing from my list of things to do, and that was a big one!”

I laughed at her enthusiasm as a couple of strands of hair fell from the loose bun on the top of her head. “You did. And you did really good.”

“I know!” She let go of my jacket and we began walking towards her car. “I thought I would throw up or something, but I was totally fine. I can’t believe it. And I can’t wait to go home and spend the rest of the afternoon looking at it!”

Even through the wrap we both had around our tattoos, they were visible enough. I hated to think about how much she’d be looking at hers once the wrap came off in a few hours. Evie had had her tattoo placed on the top of her arm, and mine was on my shoulder, where I no longer had any bruising—so we weren’t totally matching. I didn’t regret my in-the-moment decision at all. Although I wasn’t as good at expressing it, I felt as excited as Evie. I never made decisions just like that. Everything was weighed up with precision and a lot of anxiety.