Touch Me - Page 91

Incensed, she replied, "What about my sake? I don't want to be reconciled to the man who tore my family apart. He destroyed something inside my mother. What about my loyalty to her?"

"That's what this is all about, isn't it? Your mother. You think that if you reconcile with your father, you've desecrated her memory. Well, she's gone, but others are still alive. Lady Upworth wants peace in her family. She wants you to take your place in Society. She helped your mother and you. Don't you owe her loyalty, too? And what of your brother? He deserves to know you."

He knew nothing of Irisa, but his arguments applied to the younger woman as well.

Thea felt tears prick at the back of her eyes for the second time that night. "I am loyal to my aunt." Her voice threatened to break. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I explained that I will make myself known to my brother."

And her sister, too. Someday.

Suddenly he was on the seat beside her with his hand laid gently against her cheek. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm pushing you too hard."

"Why are you doing it?" she asked, unable to help herself.

He remained silent for so long, she thought he would not answer, but then he spoke. "I thought it was because I wanted you to settle into life in England, to develop ties here so you wouldn't want to leave."

When he didn't go on, she prompted him. "That's not the reason?"

"It is part of it. Understand something—I mean for you to stay."

She did not doubt he spoke the truth. He had been very clear about his intentions from the afternoon they made love on the ship. Perhaps if he loved her, it would make a difference. She was honest enough to admit that her desire to remain unwed was wavering.

But he didn't love her, and she wasn't sure passion was enough. She didn't want to dwell on those thoughts now, however.

She wanted to understand why he kept pressing her to acknowledge her father. "What's the rest of it?"

"I hated not knowing my father." His voice came out stark, full of remembered pain.

"And…" she prodded gently.

"Although I have long since determined he is not a man worth knowing, the desire to be acknowledged by him has never completely left me."

He would feel it a weakness to need the approval of a man who had never once acknowledged him, and Thea felt a rush of understanding.

"You're trying to force me to reconcile with my father because it's an option you wanted, but never had."

"Perhaps."

She knew the one-word admission had cost him. The pain in Drake's voice tugged at her heart.

"Did you ever tell your mother or grandfather how you felt? Perhaps they could have arranged a meeting."

His hand fell away from her cheek. "I never admitted my weakness to anyone else."

It was her turn to comfort him.

She turned toward him and took his hand in hers. "It isn't a weakness to want to know your family."

"My sisters and brothers don't even know that I exist."

She could imagine how that knowledge must have eaten away at his pride and sense of honor. "That's why you are so adamant that I meet my brother. But Lady Upworth said my brother has not yet come to Town."

"He deserves to know you."

Just as Drake deserved to know his siblings, but never would.

She couldn't leave it at that. "You don't need your father's acknowledgment or approval, Pierson. You have become the most honorable and worthy of men without it, a man others would do well to pattern themselves after."

"If that is truly how you feel, then you would not be afraid to marry me."

Tags: Lucy Monroe Historical
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