“But not like that.”
“Oh?”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t.”
He’s lying, but I let it go. God knows I’ve done enough to him today.
He opens his door. Moves back. Opens mine. I think this might just be the very last time I see him, and I wonder if I’m going to allow it. I wonder if I’m going to let this be it. Everything we’ve had can’t just come down to this one last moment. Everything he’s done for me. Everything he’s meant to me. All it will take is me opening my mouth and saying I’m sorry and saying I was hurt because you chose someone other than me, and it would all be done. It would all be over. We could pick up the pieces and put them back together. They might not fit the way they used to, but we could mold them into new shapes, could make this about who we are now, and not who we used to be.
I get out of the back of the car. He doesn’t back away. I stand in front of him and my leg brushes his. I look up into his eyes, and I truly do believe that everything stops around us and this could be it. This could be the moment that people don’t expect, that people don’t see coming. He’s obviously waiting for something and brushes his hand against mine, the lightest of touches. He circles my wrists with his fingers, just like the cuffs did, except it’s a gentle touch. Soft. Sweet.
“Dom,” I say. “This… I’m—”
“Daddy!” a young voice says.
We both turn.
The door to the Green Monstrosity is open. Bear stands in the doorway, the house lit up behind him. I think I see Kori look out the window briefly from the top floor.
But it’s the little boy running toward us who captures my attention. The little boy with dark hair. The little boy whose eyes are wide, who has a small smile on his face. The little boy who is a spitting image of the man standing next to me.
Dominic goes to one knee and opens his arms. The boy crashes into him and babbles quietly, talking about a lion and a dog and Bear said this and Otter (pronounced “Ottah”) said that, and there was the sky and it rained and did Daddy see that? Didn’t Daddy see all of that? There’s a queer cadence to his voice, an almost flat and monotonous tone. For a moment, I think it might be because he’s deaf, but then Dominic says something back to him, and I can tell the boy hears him. He says it again. Daddy.
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
“Who is this?” I hear myself ask.
Dominic turns to look at me and he pales, as if he just remembered he’d forgotten to tell me something important.
“This is Ben,” he says, picking the kid off the ground and up into his arms. “Ben, this is Tyson. He’s my… friend. And he’s Bear’s brother.”
Ben turns to look at me with eyes so much like his father that I can barely look at them. He curls his face into Dominic’s neck, trying to hide.
“Hi, Ben,” I say. I look back at Dominic and ask a question I already know the answer to. “Your son?”
Dominic nods.
“How old?”
“Just turned three a couple months ago.”
“You have a kid,” I say stupidly.
“Yeah.”
Ben leans up, grabs Dominic’s head, and pulls it down, whispering in his ear. His gaze darts to me as he speaks to his… father.
Dominic sighs and shakes his head. “Probably not.”
Ben looks disappointed.
“What?” I ask. I’m still not sure if any of this is real. This could quite possibly be a dream.
Dominic shrugged. “Ben wanted to know if you were coming over to his house.”
“No one told me.” That’s the part catching up with me the most now. There was a human being in this world directly connected to my family that I did not know existed. It’s the worst possible thing I could focus on, but I can’t help it. Everyone knew but me.