Everyone starts talking at once.
THE PARTY is winding down and people are saying their good-byes. I’m in the backyard, and Jerry and Alice Thompson hug me tightly and tell me how happy they are I’m home again and that they’d better see me before I leave for Tucson. I smile at them as they leave me with a wave. Good people, them. The best.
I’m tired, though. Today has been weirdly draining. I’m not in a panic, not yet. I can still breathe, so at least there’s that. But I can’t help but feel the rug has been pulled out from under me, and I’ve somehow tumbled down a rabbit hole where I’m late, I’m late, and nothing makes sense because it’s all brightly colored and upside down.
If I could just find some control, everything would be okay. I know it would.
I slide off my sandals and curl my toes in the grass. It’s cool against my skin.
“Hey,” someone says from behind me.
“Hey, yourself,” I say back.
Bear stands next to me and brushes his arm against mine. I feel better now that it’s just the two of us. “You sure about this?”
“About what?”
“You know.”
Yeah. “Honestly?”
“Sure, Kid.”
“I want everything to go back the way it was.”
He laughs quietly. “It wasn’t always that great.”
I nudge his shoulder. “We had our moments, you and me.”
“We did, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, Papa Bear.”
“I’ll kill him, you know.”
This startles me. “What? Who?”
“Dominic.” Bear’s voice has gone hard.
“Bear—”
“If he hurts you,” Bear says, “I’ll kill him. I don’t care that he’s family. I don’t care that he’s one of us. You were mine first, and I swear on all that I have, if he does you wrong, it’ll be the last thing he does.”
I’m absurdly touched, even if his anger is misplaced. “Don’t think it’ll come to that,” I say roughly. “It’s not him, you know. It’s me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
I laugh. “That’s not even remotely true.”
He moves then to stand in front of me, facing each other and eye-to-eye. I don’t remember when that happened, t
he moment he didn’t have to look down anymore. It’s almost like looking into a mirror. It’s odd, really. But it’s home, too, so I don’t question it.
“It is,” he insists, his eyes flashing angrily. I don’t know who he’s pissed off at right now, me, Dom, himself, or this whole situation. “You are just the way you need to be. If anybody tries to tell you otherwise, I’ll knock them flat on their ass.”
“Sure, Bear,” I say, because I have no other words.
He nods and takes a step back. His eyes soften and a faraway look crosses his face. “I never thought we’d get to this point,” he says.