“Gods, you are a pushy little bitch, aren’t you? Is this a wizarding thing? Is that how you’re going to be now? Because if that’s the case—wow, you are evil, if that expression on your face is any indication.” He started choking before he fell to his knees and then over on his side. “Gahhhhh,” he said, tongue lolling out of his mouth.
“That was heartbreaking to watch,” one of the Darks said. “Because they were friends and all. Truly sad.” The other Darks murmured their agreement.
“I shall destroy you,” Ryan said, pulling out his sword and flourishing it in a practiced circle. The blade caught the sunlight, and I would have been really turned-on if he wasn’t such a douchebag and I wasn’t pretending to betray him. “And then I will bring back my one true love from the brink of darkness.”
“Kevin!” I bellowed. “Defeat the knight!”
“Your wish is my command, oh master of my gaping domain,” Kevin said.
Ryan charged at him, raising his sword. He brought it down gently (but not too gently) onto Kevin’s leg, where it glanced uselessly off the dragon’s scales. Kevin knocked Ryan’s sword out of his hand with a flick of his tail and then shoved him down to the ground a little harder than necessary. Ryan skidded in the dirt before coming to a stop near my feet.
I looked down at him.
He rolled his eyes.
I loved him so fucking much.
“As you can see,” I exclaimed, my acting probably as good if not better than those who graced the Lockes Stage, “three have been defeated. All that remains is the king of the fairies. And since it is his job to protect the dragons, he cannot fight Kevin. Therefore, everyone here has been defeated, and I have completed my betrayal.”
“He’s right,” Dimitri said, wings drooping. “I have been defeated and cannot do a single thing.”
The Darks clapped again.
Except Terrance. Terrance, who had already passed Vadoma on my list of enemies, looked down at my friends on the ground before saying, “But you haven’t monologued yet.”
The Darks stopped clapping.
“Excuse me?” I asked Terrance as politely as I could, even though in my head I was deciding how to remove his femurs from his body in the way that would cause the most pain.
“You say you’re a Dark wizard now.”
“Right.”
“And you’ve betrayed all your friends.”
“This is true.”
“But you haven’t monologued yet about your feelings and how you turned bad because of your father not loving you, or because you found dead animals in the woods when you were a kid and poked them with sticks.”
I stared at him. “I don’t—”
“Monologue,” Gary hissed as he squinted up at me before he laid his tongue back on the ground.
“But—”
“I believe in you,” Tiggy said.
“Aw,” I said. “Thanks, dude. But there’s no way in hell I’m going to—” The Darks were frowning at me, looking perturbed. “Oh, godsdammit. Do I have to?”
“Only a true Dark wizard would monologue after having his enemies defeated at his feet,” Terrance said. “Everyone knows this.”
The other Darks nodded.
“Ugh. Fine. I’ll do it. I’m not happy about it, but I’ll do it.”
They waited.
“Okay, so,