“Why?”
“Why did you never stop going after Robbie?”
Kelly said, “Because he was my mate. I love him. And I promised myself that nothing would stand between us, that I would do anything to get him back.” He cocked his head at me. “Do you love Gavin?”
No. No, I didn’t. Not like he meant. Not like that. It wasn’t like that.
And he said, “Oh, yeah, sure, completely not like that at all,” and it should have scared me more that he answered me although I hadn’t spoken out loud. But I was just so relieved he was here, that I wasn’t alone. “Yet here you are.”
“Here I am,” I echoed.
“Carter?”
“Yeah?”
“Come here.”
I went. I couldn’t not. He was my brother, and I was lost.
He welcomed me with open arms, pulling me down onto the bed. I lay between his legs, my head on his chest. I ignored the fact that I couldn’t hear his heart. It didn’t seem important, not when his hands were in my hair, tugging gently. He hummed a song that reminded me of our mother under his breath. I squeezed my eyes shut.
“It’s okay,” he said quietly.
It wasn’t. Nothing about this was okay. “What do I do?”
“Well, threatening him doesn’t seem to be working. In case you were wondering.”
“Not helping.”
“And it’s not like you can take out Livingstone on your own.”
“Really not helping.”
He laughed. “Yeah, sorry about that.” He sobered. “Is this worth it? All that you’ve endured to be here, now, where you are?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“But?”
“It feels… important.”
He said, “I dream about you. Can I tell you about it?”
I could barely breathe.
He said, “In these dreams, we’re happy. We’re together. It’s you and me and Joe. We’re running together. Sometimes we’re wolves, and sometimes we’re human. You’re the fastest, because you’ve always been. But you never leave us behind. Joe’s the strongest, because he’s the Alpha, and it’s his job to be brave.”
“What about you?”
He shifted slightly underneath me. “What do you think?”
“The smartest. You’re the smartest. I always thought so.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah. And you’re… kind. Even to those who don’t deserve it. I don’t know how to be that way.”
“That’s why you have me,” he said. “To show you kindness. To remind you that even when all seems dark, there is always a light if you just know where to look for it.”