“Dragon,” Gary said.
“Yes, light of my life?”
“I don’t want to die today. Nor do I want any of my friends to die today. And by friends, I mean Sam and Tiggy.”
“Hey,” Ryan said, sounding put out. “I thought we were friends.”
Gary turned to look at him with narrowed eyes. It was rather frightening. “You thought that, huh?”
“Gary,” I said.
“Fine,” he growled. “Justin and Ryan can’t die either. But they’re not my friends. Especially Justin. But mostly Ryan.”
“Ow,” Justin said flatly. “My heart.”
Ryan actually looked hurt by it.
“I shall protect you all,” Kevin said, puffing out his chest and raising his head. His eyes flashed and a lick of fire rolled out of his nose. “And then we should talk about that orgy.”
So we stood in a line, our backs to the keep, waiting for Eloise and the creepy people of Tarker Mills to descend upon us. Somehow, Ryan ended up next to me and kept trying to inch his way in front of me.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“Nothing,” he said and then tried to shove me behind him.
“Are you trying to protect me?” I asked, starting to get slightly pissed. “Dude. Knock it off. You’re not my knight in shining armor. You’re a dick in dented tin.”
His jaw clenched. “Might as well be,” he said. “After all, I’m your cornerstone. It’s what I’m supposed to do.”
Oh, that motherfucker. “You do not get to say that,” I hissed at him. “You’re not my anything. And I don’t need you to protect me. I’ve been doing just fine without you and will continue to do so long into the future. Go be dashing and immaculate somewhere else.”
“Get down with your bad self,” Gary muttered. “We don’t need no mens.”
“Tiggy and Gary and Sam don’t need no mens,” Tiggy agreed.
“Maybe,” Ryan said, “if you’d been honest with me, we wouldn’t even be in this position in the first place!”
“Are you two seriously having this argument right now?” Justin asked.
I ignored him as I glared at the back of Ryan’s head. “Bullshit,” I said. “We’re here because a dragon kidnapped your fiancé. Who you swore an oath to.”
“I would like to be kept out of this,” Kevin said. “I feel like there’s a lot of misplaced anger going around. Bow down ter yer god, hoominz.”
“The oath has nothing to do with you,” Ryan said through gritted teeth.
“Just as anything having to do with a cornerstone has nothing to do with you,” I said and he recoiled. I had the sense to feel slightly bad at the wounded look on his face. It didn’t matter, though. I was pissed.
But before Ryan could retort with whatever was going on in that stupid head of his, Eloise and the cult rounded the final corner to the keep. Their eyes widened when they saw Kevin sitting regally next to us, tail and wings twitching.
“He… is… glorious,” Eloise breathed.
I wished I could say the same for her, but she looked worse for wear. Her hair was a mess around her face, and I thought she was missing a tooth or two, which went well with the shiner she was sporting on her right eye and a bruise on her cheek suspiciously shaped like a hoofprint.
“Dude,” I said reverently, not even trying to keep my voice down. “Did you kick her in the face?”
Gary preened. “That I did.”
“I love you,” I told him. “Seriously. I am in awe of you.”