“I haven’t captured you yet.”
“Fair point,” I said. “Are you going to try?”
“Lartin was my friend,” he said, fingers twitching. I could feel his magic gathering.
“Really?” I said, arching an eyebrow. “That guy, man. What was his deal? All you Darks seemed to be all up in his shit.”
“He was nice but he liked to hug for too long before his hands started to wander,” Wan said. “He was one of the first Darks. His father didn’t—”
“Oh no!”
“What?”
“I just realized I don’t care. Are you done yet? You said you weren’t going to monologue.”
“I’m not.”
“It’s still monologuing when you do it on someone else’s behalf,” I explained.
“How has no one killed you yet?” he asked, sounding incredulous. “I’ve only known you for five minutes and I want to murder you.”
“Rude,” I said. “Don’t lie. You want some of this.”
He flushed again.
&nbs
p; “Ha,” I said. “No thanks.”
“Honestly,” he said. “All you do is talk. I don’t see what the big deal is. You may not know me, but I’ve got the backing of the Dark wizards of the Dark Woods. Those that know me fear my name. I am a hunter, and you are the hunted. Your head will be mine.”
“I am a hunter and you are the hunted,” I mocked. “Gods. That was just awful.”
“Hey!” Wan said. “That’s rude. I worked hard on that.”
“Well, yeah. But it’s so cliché.”
“You don’t mess with classics, I guess.”
“The Darks, right?” I said. “That’s what you have?”
“Yes,” he said, eyes flashing.
“Guess what I have,” I said, smiling at him.
“What?”
“A dragon,” I snapped and said, “Kevin! Now!”
I grinned and prepared for my friends (who were obviously listening in and waiting for me to give an awesome new catchphrase that I did like a boss) to burst through the trees and stand united against the Dark. Kevin would roar and fire would burst from between his teeth. Tiggy would smash his fists together and Gary would be shining in so much fucking glitter. It was going to be awesome.
And so, of course, nothing happened.
Wan looked at me warily. “What?”
“Sorry,” I said. “Probably just a delay. Give it a minute.”
We gave it a minute. Still nothing.