JP scratched the stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave that morning. He’d planned to shave, but Kayla had a different idea. She’d fussed for hours, turning the volume up to ear-splitting every time he set her down. His new best friend, Google, suggested it could be teething. By the time he’d given her a chilled teething toy to chomp on, he’d completely forgotten about his unkempt appearance.
“So, um, turns out, I’ve got a kid.”
If he’d told Mark he was an alien from planet lightyears away, his friend couldn’t have had a more shocked reaction.
Mark’s jaw dropped, and he blinked. “Wh—I’m sorry, I think my head just exploded. Wanna tell me that again?”
“I’m a father,” JP said with a straight face.
Mark ran a hand down his face then looked over his shoulder. “This is a joke, right? Some kinda prank you’re pulling to get your sick jollies? Is someone gonna pop out with a camera? You, Mr. kids-suck-and-I’ll-die-before-having-them has a child? No fucking way. Not buying it.”
JP bristled even though he deserved the reaction. “Yes, fucking way, and you’re gonna feel like a douche when I tell you about it.”
Lifting his hands in surrender, Mark sat back in his chair. “All right. I’ll pretend to believe you. Give me the details.”
The waitress dropped their coffees off. If she noticed the heavy blanket that settled over JP, she pretended not to. Instead, she winked and practically snapped her spine, arching her back so her tits were on display. Unfortunately for her, JP’s body and brain were a total fucking shit show now. The only things that had been able to get him hard over the past few days were thoughts of Hannah, smelling Hannah, dreams of Hannah, and now the memory of how goddammed sweet she tasted.
“Not many details, really. Met a girl at a concert, fucked her in her car, knocked her up. She didn’t tell me. Then she had a baby and died a short time ago. Now I am a single father to a seven-month-old infant.”
With each word out of his mouth, Mark’s eyes grew wider. “Ho-ly shit,” he said once JP finished talking. “That is a lot, man.”
JP grunted. “Yeah, you’re telling me.” He sipped his coffee. Hot and strong. The only thing keeping him awake these days.
“How’re you handling it?”
How was he handling it? Who the fuck knew? “Better now than the first few days. I kinda freaked. Checked out. But we’re working our way through it, one bungle at a time.”
With a laugh, Mark nodded. “Just like every first-time parent out there.”
“Really?”
“Uh, yeah. You think just because we planned on our children that we have any idea what the fuck we’re doing?” After sipping his coffee, Mark chuckled. “Hell, no. We try our best and hope we don’t kill them or fuck them up too bad. That’s about it as far as parenthood.”
Ridiculous as the advice was, it made JP feel better than any suggestions he’d read or been told. Knowing he wasn’t alone in feeling as though he was dangling off the edge of a cliff by one weakening fingertip helped lessen the angst he’d been living with since Kayla came into his life. There were countless ways he could break her or ruin her life, and he always felt as though he were one wrong decision away from doing just that.
“Thanks, Mark. You have no idea how good it is to hear that. You’ve always seemed like such a natural with your kids. Like they came out with a step-by-step instruction guide you memorized in a day.”
“Don’t I wish?” With a snort, Mark shook his head. “Fuck, no. I was on morning duty yesterday. I sent our youngest to preschool with her dress on backward, her shoes on the wrong feet, and her teeth unbrushed. Getting three kids ready for school in the morning is no joke. I also burned my arm on the toaster, then yelled ‘fucking piece of shit’ which, apparently, Mark Jr. repeated in his kindergarten class when he tripped over a block. Needless to say, I’m pretty sure I lost my shot at father of the year.”
Laughter burst from deep in JP’s gut. “Damn, that’s rough. But I gotta admit it makes me feel better hearing it. I keep wondering when someone is gonna turn me in for having no fucking clue what I’m doing.”
Mark waved a hand. “Nah, you’re good, man. You got this shit.”
“Thanks.” Not that he fully believed it, but this conversation bolstered his confidence in his parenting skills. “Anyway, that’s not why I asked to meet with you. Well, it’s related, but now that I’ve got Kayla in my life, I’ve been thinking I need to get serious about my career.”
“Look at you, growing up before my eyes.” Mark lifted his napkin and dabbed the corner of his eye.