Mail-Order Groom: A Valentine Romantic Comedy

"Don't judge a man by his photo shoot."

"Oh. He's a model?"

"Doctor."

"And he did that?"

"Because he lost a bet...and he actually doesn't know you've asked for a photo of his abs. I grabbed this from the Internet."

"What about Mr. Red Folder?" Charlee-Mae held her breath. "How - where - did you get it?"

"Now that, I had to personally ask for..." Charlotte scowled as she was reminded of how mortifying it felt to ask the other party for a photo of his abs. It had made her feel like a brothel owner asking a sex worker for proof of goods—-

Charlee-Mae, upon seeing Charlotte's expression turn darker by the second, knew right away what the other woman was thinking. Uh-oh. She started to lean back...but it was too late, and Charlee-Mae could only yelp in pain as Charlotte suddenly rolled a sheet of paper and started swatting her arm like it was covered by mosquitoes.

"I can't believe you made me ask for photos of their abs!"

Swat!

"I'm sorry—-"

Swat!

"I really am—"

SWAT!

"Ouch!"

SWAT! SWAT!

"You made Heart's Match seem like a sex-for-hire agency!"

SWAT! SWAT! SWAT!

"I said I'm sorry—-"

Charlotte focused all of her energies to give her sister-in-law one last swat, and Charlee-Mae's subsequent yelp was music to her ears.

"Jesus, Char!"

"You deserve it," she said without pity.

Charlee-Mae rubbed her arm gingerly. "Are we okay now?"

Charlotte's pursed her lips. "I'm not sure. Ask me tomorrow."

Charlee-Mae rolled her eyes. For all of Charlotte's mature ways, one thing the other woman had not outgrown was her tendency to hold grudges.

"Now..." Charlotte felt so much calmer now, having found the proper outlet for her annoyance. "Where were we?"

"You were telling me about how perfect Mr. Red Folder is for me."

Charlotte's gaze bore through her sister-in-law. "Seriously?"

Charlee-Mae's expression turned innocent. "Did I remember wrong?"

Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Anyway..." She pointed back to Mr. Blue Folder. "You should really reconsider, you know. This guy will make you a good husband—-"

"But why should I settle for good," Charlee-Mae asked, "when I can have someone great? You know me better than that, Char. I've never been the type to play it safe." She tapped the red folder in emphasis, saying, "It has to be him or no one else. I can already tell this early there'll be fireworks between us," she enthused. "I can just feel—-"

"That a temporary marriage is all he wants?" Charlotte cut in dryly. "Did you feel that, too? Because that's the first thing he told me on our first meeting." She was hoping this would be enough for her sister-in-law to change her mind, but instead Charlee-Mae only appeared intrigued.

"Did he explain why?"

"His recently-retired mother will only turn over her shares to him if he marries—-"

Charlee-Mae brightened. "Then—-"

"But his mother also happens to disapprove of the woman he does want to marry."

Charlee-Mae refused to be discouraged. "Who's this woman trying to steal my man?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake. He's not your man yet—-"

"He will be," Charlee-Mae said with a flip of her hair. "So tell me. Who is it?" She saw Charlotte's expression turn sly, and Charlee-Mae knew right away something was up. "You think I won't be able to steal him away from her, don't you?"

"You'll have a fight on your hands, yes."

Charlee-Mae's gaze narrowed. "What does she have that I don't? Is she super famous or something?"

"As far as I know, no."

Charlee-Mae suddenly looked fearful. "Is she super smart?"

Charlotte couldn't help laughing despite everything. "No, Cha-Cha. As far as I know, the other party isn't super smart."

"Then...is she his first love? His forbidden love? His—-"

"Possibly all of the above."

Charlee-Mae shot up in her seat. "Seriously?"

"Having second thoughts now?"

Charlee-Mae looked at her sister-in-law oddly. "Why should I? On the contrary, this is just going to make things more exci—-"

"It's his sister-in-law."

"Holy motherfucking cow!"

Charlotte couldn't help but wince. "Cha-Cha."

"Sorry." Charlee-Mae was quick to apologize, having forgotten how prim and proper her sister-in-law could be. And speaking of sisters-in-law...

"How exactly are they related? Was he married before—-"

"No. Not like that. She was his late older brother's wife."

Charlee-Mae's brows arched up. "Wow."

"The brother died seven years ago—-"

"Did they hook up right after his death?"

"I have no idea how long they've been together, but he did mention she's now his mistress."

"Mistress, huh?" That was quite the label for one's sister-in-law. "And not girlfriend?"

"His words, not mine."

"Oh my."

Charlotte had been hoping Charlee-Mae would finally see the light about Mr. Red Folder, but instead the other woman actually sounded thrilled, and her amber eyes were actually sparkling with excitement.

"I can't believe how perfect this all is, Char!"

Charlotte wondered if it was too late to back out of her secret deal with heaven. She wanted to have Landon back, even in just her dreams, but was it worth risking Charlee-Mae's heartbreak? Her future mail-order groom did not see their marriage as a permanent thing.

"This is exactly what I was hoping for!"