He steps back and then looks down, his eyes darkening in a way I’ve never witnessed in my short life.
“Fuck,” he growls, “curves in all the right places, you have a fuckin’ beautiful body, just the way a woman should look, a little soft, a whole lot curvy.”
Oh god.
That’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.
“Close your eyes.”
I swallow.
“Trust me, I can make your mind turn off for one second, and I know you need that right now.”
I exhale, and then close my eyes.
His hand carefully lands on my shoulder before sliding down my arm and taking my hand, then he carefully pulls me toward the water. When I reach the edge, and I can hear the soft flowing, he leans into my ear. “For one minute, forget everything in your head. Just listen to the water, I want you to feel absolutely everything from the coolness to the way it makes your skin prickle. Focus on nothing else but the sounds and feel. Take a step.”
I do as he asks, taking a step.
My foot lands in the water and when I turn everything else off and just focus on how that feels, I realize just how little time we spend really putting our attention on these things. Not only is it cool but it flows against my foot, causing a slight tickle. The rocks beneath my feet are smooth and something squishy is touching my big toe. The sound is soft and peaceful and in the distance birds can be heard chirping.
I exhale and relax into it, taking a second to forget the world around me for one moment and just be right here, in the river, with a gorgeous man behind me.
Rhett steps up behind me and his hard body presses against mine, his hands run down my arms and his fingers lock into mine, then we stand there, both of us in the water, his chest against my back, our hands entwined, just feeling the moment for what it truly is—blissful. I keep my eyes closed and fall into what almost feels like a meditation, my breathing becomes heavy and peaceful and my body sinks into Rhett’s.
It’s only when I get a little chilly that I shake myself out of it and turn toward him. I look up at him, and his eyes hold mine, and in that moment I’m completely open and vulnerable, and because of that ... I lose it. I can’t help the tears that burst forth and roll down my cheeks. My friend is dead. Yesterday he was here and now he’s gone, just like that, gone. My body starts to shake, and Rhett grabs me, pulling me in close and wrapping his big arms around me.
There he holds me, ugly crying, making sounds I don’t even think I’ve heard before, and yet none of it seems to bother him. He holds me until that crying stops and my body quits trembling, only then does he step back and look down at me. “I’m sorry you lost your friend at a place where you were meant to find peace.”
“It’s not your fault,” I croak. “It’s ours. We dared him to go in there, we thought it would be funny. At no point was it funny to send someone into a place that wasn’t safe. He’s dead because of us.”
“Taj was a grown man, Lei. He didn’t have to go in there. He chose that. You can’t hold yourself accountable.”
“He’s a man, and he wasn’t going to let us hold that over his head forever. He was going in there because his pride told him to, because a dare was made.”
“It was an accident.”
“Was it?” I whisper.
He looks down at me, eyes narrowed. “You don’t think it was?”
“He had a blanket over him.”
Rhett seems to process this for a minute. “He didn’t when I went in there.”
“Who found him?”
“Grace. She must have taken it off.”
“Well, when I looked this morning, he had a blanket over him.”
“Doesn’t mean he didn’t fall, sweetheart. He could have had the blanket wrapped around him, it was cold out. He might have tripped and fell, takin’ it with him. That barn is full of old rocks and timber with nails. It’s dangerous.”
Maybe he’s right.
Maybe I am overthinking this whole thing.
Yet something inside me just doesn’t feel right.
I feel as though I’m missing something.
I just don’t know what yet.
But I intend to find out.
IT IS NEARLY A WEEK before the police arrive back to the ranch. We have gone into town to give them a statement, otherwise we have spent our time just chilling out around the ranch and taking a moment to mourn our friend. When they finally arrive, we’re all desperate to hear what they have to say. I’ve gone over it a thousand times in my head, and nothing about it seems right to me, I want to know what they found.