Beautifully Hurt (Beautifully Broken)

“Are you in any pain?” Mr. Drake asks.

Quinn shakes her head, and then all emotion drains from her features until she just stares blankly at the ceiling.

“Quinn?” I take a step forward, but Mom grabs my arm.

“It’s normal. She’s processing.” A couple of seconds later, Mom adds, “She’s taking her mind to a safe space.”

Frowning, I glance down at Mom. “How do you know that?”

She pats my arm. “Experience.” Mom looks at Mr. Drake. “Josh, can I get you some coffee?”

“That would be great, Nina.”

Mom glances up at me. “You want some?”

I shake my head and take a seat on the chair next to the bed. Picking up Quinn’s hand, I bring it to my mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “You okay, baby?”

Quinn just stares as if she’s completely checked out from reality.

“I’m getting the doctor,” Mr. Drake says, hurrying out of the room.

A tear sneaks from Quinn’s right eye, and I quickly brush it away. “I’m here, Quinn. I can’t imagine how you must feel, but I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

A sob flutters over her lips, and then emotions crash through her, ripping her breath from her. I’m up and leaning over her within the next second. “Christ, Quinn. What can I do?”

“Eli,” she whimpers brokenly. “I can’t…”

“I know, baby.” Unable to stop myself, I carefully push my arms beneath her and pull her to my chest. Then, moving a hand behind her head, I hold her as I press my mouth to her temple. “It’s okay to break, Quinn. You don’t have to be strong. I’ve got you.”

Her body begins to shudder, and her breaths hit my chest in hot bursts as she breaks. Closing my eyes, I fucking take every sob as she shatters in my arms.

Chapter 12

QUINN

I stare at Katie, too scared to move because I don’t want her to fade away.

“Why are you so quiet?” she asks, her voice sounding like musical notes.

“I just want to look at you,” I whisper.

She lets out a chuckle. “Why?”

“Because I miss you.”

“But I’m right here,” she says, and then she reaches for my hand. Her fingers curl around mine, and feeling warmth in them makes tears rush to my eyes. I shoot forward, and grabbing her to me, I cry, “Don’t leave me, Katie.”

Her arms wrap tightly around me. “I won’t. I’ll always be by your side, Quinn.”

“Promise,” I beg, sobs shuddering from me.

“I promise,” she says.

A coldness begins to creep into me, and I tighten my hold on her, letting out a broken cry. “Don’t go. Not yet.”

“I’m right here, silly. I’m not…”

My arms slump to my lap, and I keep my eyes pinched shut, not wanting to open them.

“The Conleys will be missed,” Mayor Richardson says, from where he’s standing by the podium in the front of the church. “Southport mourns the loss of our own that’s been brutally taken from us.”

I stare blankly at the tissue between my fingers while a storm rages inside me, and then Eli’s hand covers both of mine.

Dad’s sitting to my left, and Eli’s on my right. Dr. Pickens and Dr. Altman allowed me to attend the funerals, and then I have to return to the hospital.

I could’ve been discharged already, but I keep having panic attacks.

I know what they think. I’m unstable and a suicide risk.

I’m not. I’m just traumatized and heartbroken.

“I grew up with Keith and Debbie, and I was there when Katie was born.” Mayor Richardson shakes his head, sorrow drawing deep lines on his face. “My life was blessed having known them.”

One by one, people get up to say something nice about the Conleys.

It’s been eight days.

It feels like it happened a second ago.

When I had to give my statement to Sheriff Miller, it felt like I was talking about other people… strangers. My mind couldn’t connect the horror to the Conleys.

I told him it was the same guys from the bar, but they don’t know who the guys are, so the investigation is ongoing.

Eli’s thumb brushes over the skin on the back of my hand, and he leans into me, whispering, “You still holding up, okay?”

I manage to nod, the storm spiraling out of control inside me. Winds carrying Katie’s terror-filled cries rip through me.

Pastor Clayton takes the stand and says something about the Lord giving and taking… and it obliterates the last of my strength.

The Lord picked a flower for his own garden.

Another angel has earned their wings.

What a load of crap!

I grab hold of Eli’s hand, and grinding my teeth, I whisper, “Take me outside.”

Eli darts to his feet and pulls me down the aisle and out into sunlight that’s too bright.

I close my eyes, wanting the darkness where Katie is, then I feel Eli standing in front of me.

“What can I do?”

“Nothing.” I open my eyes and stare up into his blue ones. “Nothing will bring them back.”