Beautifully Hurt (Beautifully Broken)

“Remember when I first taught you how to shoot a gun?”

“Yeah,” I say, leaning back into the cushion. “Most of it.”

“You told me you were scared,” he says. “Do you recall what I said to you on that day?’

I nod. “You said everybody has at least one fear.”

“I told you my fear was that I wouldn’t be able to protect you,” he reminds me. “Next time I tell you to wait for me, you listen.”

I nod. “I just had to get to Quinn.”

“I understand, but when you’re facing armed men, wait for your old man to have your back. You were lucky they left before you got there.”

We haven’t spoken about that night until now.

“Where’s your gun?” Dad asks.

“Locked in the safe.”

“I want you to carry it on you at all times until those bastards are found. Quinn’s a witness, and they might come back to finish the job.”

“Christ, Dad,” I hiss as I lean forward.

“Eli, I’m not fucking around. Listen to me. You carry at all times, and you don’t hesitate taking the shot if they come knocking.”

I shake my head. “Never thought you’d give me permission to kill.”

“It’s not killing if you’re protecting yourself and Quinn.”

My eyes lock with Dad’s, then he says, “I’ve also had to deal with something similar to what you’re going through.”

“Who? When?” I ask.

“Your mother got shot.” The words shudder through me, and my muscles tighten.

“Before you and Ethan came along, your mother and I had our own demons to fight. We never told you any of this because we were hoping you’d never be in a position where you’d need to know.”

“Know what, Dad?”

“I wasn’t a handyman all my life. There was a time when people used to hire me to rescue kidnapped victims. As a hobby of sorts, I used to take down syndicates. I found your mom while taking down a group.”

My mouth drops open with shock. “Christ, Dad.”

“I’ve taken a life before, and I won’t hesitate taking another to keep my loved ones safe.”

I never knew this side of Dad existed.

“I won’t hesitate,” I promise him, and only then he seems to relax a little.

“I’m proud of you, Eli. The way you stepped up to take care of Quinn.”

I nod and force a smile to my lips. “I wish I could do more for her.”

“Remind her of the beauty in life. That’s how I got through to your mother.”

Dad reaches across and gives my shoulder a squeeze as Mom comes into the living room with Quinn.

Thank God for my parents. I wouldn’t know how to deal with all of this if it weren’t for them.

“Is there a specific pizza you guys want?” Mom asks.

I take hold of Quinn’s hand and pull her down on the couch beside me while answering, “I’m good with anything.”

I wrap my arm around Quinn’s shoulders as my thoughts return to what Dad said.

If those bastards come back for Quinn, I won’t hesitate to kill them. There’s no way I’m letting them near her.

I press a kiss to her temple and take a deep breath of her flowery scent.

QUINN

“You okay?” Katie asks.

I nod, just staring at her.

“You’re lying.”

“It’s hard with you gone,” I admit.

“I’ll never be totally gone,” she says, giving me a warm smile. She reaches across, pressing her hand over my heart. “I’ll always be in here, safely tucked away from all the bad things in the world.”

“I wish I could’ve saved you,” I admit.

“There’s nothing any of us could’ve done,” she murmurs. “They were going to kill us no matter what.”

Her words shudder through me as some of the memories return.

When I shoot upright in the bed, I slam into Eli’s arm, and he immediately pulls me into a protective hug.

“It’s okay, baby,” Eli murmurs. “I’ve got you.”

My breaths explode from me, my eyes wide with the horror of what I remember.

‘Think you’re too good for the likes of me, bitch?’

‘It wouldn’t have killed you to put out. Unlike now.’

I gasp as the realization hits. They came to the Conleys because of me.

“They came to the Conleys because of me,” I whimper as my heart splits right down the middle. “Maybe if I had gone home, it would’ve just been me.”

Eli quickly frames my face and forces me to look at him. “No, Quinn. Don’t even go there. It’s not your fault.”

“But… but…” I sputter as a sob tears through me.

“No,” Eli says again, his voice tense. “You are not responsible for what those bastards did. There’s nothing you could’ve done to stop what happened.”

Pushing myself onto my knees, I throw my arms around Eli’s neck. I hold onto him with all my strength as the unforgiving wall that’s been keeping everything inside me breaks.

Eli holds me while the uncontrollable tears flow. I burrow deeper against him, needing to surround myself with his warmth and scent. When I’m close to him, the darkness isn’t all that dark.