Beautifully Hurt (Beautifully Broken)

Eli’s hold on me tightens. “Maybe it would be better to just accept she’s in a better place where she doesn’t remember any of that?” His breath skims over my ear again, “Maybe she’s happy and safe from all the hurt?”

His words are strangely comforting, making the emptiness retreat.

“Dying doesn’t have to mean Katie’s journey ended,” he continues. “She’s just moved on to the next phase of her existence.”

“Do you really believe that?” I ask as I burrow deeper into his embrace.

“I do. With all my heart.”

“Katie’s in a better place,” I whisper, feeling the sting of loss.

Katie’s gone.

Silence falls between us for a while before Eli brings his hand to my chin, lifting my face to his. When our eyes lock, he asks, “What about you, Quinn?”

“What about me?”

“You were attacked as well. You’ve never talked about it. What about what you went through?”

I pull my chin free from his hold, and climbing off his lap, I stand up. “I’m fine. It happened, and I survived.”

I begin to walk back to the house, but Eli grabs hold of my arm, darting in front of me to block my way. I keep my eyes fixed on his black t-shirt.

“Quinn,” he murmurs, his voice sounding strained.

I shake my head. “I’m really okay.”

“Then look at me,” he challenges me.

I manage to lift my eyes to his neck before they stop, refusing to go higher.

I’m okay.

What happened to me wasn’t half as bad as what was done to Katie and her parents.

They died, and I survived.

I was lucky.

“Quinn, look at me,” Eli urges.

Instead of doing as he says, I close my eyes. “I was the lucky one, Eli.” My voice quivers, and I swallow hard.

Eli brushes some hair behind my ear, and I feel him leaning down. “Open your eyes, baby.”

My lashes lift on his command, and the moment my eyes meet his, the breath’s knocked from me.

The shock.

The fear.

The blow to my head.

My heart breaking as Katie screamed.

A blow to my side, cracking my ribs and making fire lick at my insides.

My world shattering.

The terror as I ran from them.

The hopelessness when I was shot.

Thinking I was going to die with the second shot.

It all hits like a tsunami, rocking me on my feet.

“I was so scared,” I whimper.

Eli presses his forehead to mine. “I know, baby. I was terrified as well.”

“I felt helpless and trapped. I couldn’t get away.” A breath shudders from me. “I thought I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.”

As more sobs burst from me, Eli wraps me tightly against his chest. “I’ve got you. Let it out, baby.”

I begin to cry harder, distraught by what happened.

“You’re safe,” Eli whispers. “I’ll always protect you.”

Feeling his strong arms around me, I cry for myself, purging my soul to Eli.

ELI

I held Quinn all night as she finally opened up to me. It was a long time coming, and I knew it would be upsetting as fuck for both of us, but it was needed.

I’m hoping it helped Quinn in some way so she can take a step toward healing.

Ready to head to work, I tuck my gun safely behind my back, covering the weapon with my shirt.

I’ve been carrying the Baretta since Dad told me to without Quinn noticing. I’m not sure how she’ll react.

I find her in the kitchen as she reaches for her apron. She glances at me, then asks, “You heading out?”

I nod as I lean my shoulder against the doorjamb. “Yeah, but I was hoping you wanted to come along for the day.”

Just as I expected, Quinn freezes. Nervously her tongue darts out to wet her lips before she says, “Ah… I thought I’d stay home and bake.”

“You’re always here or visiting my mom. I think it will be good for you to get out a little.” When she just stares at me, I add, “We can also stop by your dad’s place to check on everything.”

I can see she wants to say no, but then she whispers, “Okay.”

I hate pushing her, but she hasn’t been in town since the attack, and I don’t want her to lock herself up at home.

Pushing away from the doorjamb, I hold my hand out to her. “Come on, baby. Let’s go.”

Quinn places the apron on the hook against the back door and reluctantly comes to take my hand. The corner of my mouth lifts at the victory as I pull her out of the house. I lock the front door behind us before we walk to the truck.

Opening the passenger door, I wait for Quinn to climb inside, then I lean over her and press a quick kiss to her lips. “Proud of you,” I murmur before pulling back and shutting the door.

When I slide in behind the steering wheel, I say, “Seat belt.”