And if I was being honest, I couldn’t blame her.
My anger kept flaring, sharp words and meaningless threats falling from my mouth without thought. Except Tally didn’t know they were meaningless. I had frightened her—really frightened her. I could see it in her eyes, feel it in the air around her when I appeared.
I had to change that, but I wasn’t sure how. I blew out a long breath. It seemed as if I was repeating the same errors I had before she’d left me the first time. Showing the wrong emotions and sending her mixed signals. I rotated my arm, trying to ease the stiffness in my shoulder, ease the tension that had built in the injured muscle. It still ached, and holding the baby so much hadn’t helped. I wouldn’t stop that, though.
The door behind me opened and Damien walked in, Leo with him.
“Bad time?” Damien asked.
“No, come in.”
I glanced at the monitor with a shake of my head. Anne was napping at her desk, her needlepoint falling to her lap as she dozed. Part of me was jealous, the other part resigned and too exhausted to bother being annoyed. I clicked off the camera.
“What’s up?”
Damien and Leo exchanged a look. “We thought we’d check in on you after yesterday’s, ah, developments,” Leo said. “I hope everything we brought over was useful?”
“Yeah, it was great.”
“Gwen wondered if you needed anything else?”
“I told Tally to order whatever she needed. I think we’re okay.”
There was silence, then Damien chuckled. “Holding your cards tight to your vest as usual, Julian. How are things—really?”
I looked at the two men I trusted. Both had become more than part of my team. Damien was my trusted right-hand, and I had come to know Leo well since he had returned to the fold, so to speak. Both were hard-working, honest men. They offered their loyalty and friendship easily.
“Shit,” I replied.
Leo leaned back, a slight grimace crossing his face. The beating he had taken from Xavier Zander had left permanent damage to his knees and shoulders before Marcus and Missy had taken Zander out. The bastard had been an expert in inflicting pain and injury.
“How is your daughter?” he asked quietly.
A smile tugged on my lips. “Perfect. Adorable. Strong.” Then I frowned. “A stranger.”
“That will change. Give it time.” He paused. “And Tally?”
The words were out before I could stop them. “She fucking hates me. Not that I blame her. I keep acting like an ass. Threatening things I don’t mean, upsetting her.”
Again, they exchanged a look. “You have every right to be angry, Julian,” Leo said. “But maybe you better dial it back. Tally is nursing, and stress isn’t good for the mother or baby.”
“I’m worried she’ll take off. I’m already so in love with Julianna, I can’t believe it.”
“And Tally?” he asked again.
“I still love her.”
Damien shifted in his chair. “I can’t offer much in the way of relationship advice,” he said with a smirk. “But I do know anger isn’t the best way to get a woman to trust you again.”
“Maybe you should go talk to Dr. Easton. Get out some anger, and she can give you some pointers to help rein it in. Then you should go home, apologize, and talk to Tally,” Leo said in his quiet way.
It was good advice, and I nodded in silent agreement. I met Leo’s gaze. “I know nothing about babies. The noises and squeaks. How to change a diaper. Give her a bath. Do things to help Tally. She seems so at ease with her, and I feel as if I’ll drop her at any given second.”
Leo laughed. “You’ve had her in your life less than a day. You’re overwhelmed and in shock. Of course Tally is comfortable. She carried her for nine months. Been the one looking after her twenty-four seven since she was born. You need to cut yourself some slack, ask Tally for guidance, and read a couple of books.” He shook his head. “And get the hell out of here and spend some time with both of them. Reconnect. Engage as a father and husband, not an angry jerk.”
“When did you get to be so smart?”
“Gwen helped me.” He pulled out his phone. “I’ll send you the links to a couple of great books.”
Damien spoke up. “We have nothing the rest of the week, Julian. All the teams are accounted for, and the strikes happening aren’t here. I can run point. We can reach you at home. I’ll stay in the office and make sure Anne doesn’t fall out of her chair during her naps and handle any calls. Go be with them.” He lifted his eyebrows. “It’s not as if you’re being very productive anyway.”
I flipped him the bird, and he laughed. But he was right. I could handle whatever was needed from the office at home. Tally knew about Hidden Justice now, so it wasn’t as if I had to hide that from her any longer.