Relieved, I took my wife and daughter home.
Twenty-four hours later, I wanted to get my gun and go find someone to shoot. I had never experienced the unending anxiety swirling in my gut the way I had since we’d brought Julianna home from the hospital. She hardly slept unless one of us was holding her, and even then, it was short. She cried and wailed, whimpered and snuffled. She barely ate, only fussing and pushing away. Tally was far calmer than I was, but even she was uptight and anxious. I called Sofia so often, she came to the apartment, checking out Julianna, assuring us she was fine aside from the infection, which was showing signs of improvement.
“The medication needs time to work,” she replied to my terse demand as to why Julianna was still so uncomfortable. She looked away, trying not to laugh.
“What?” I snarled.
“I have seen you amid total chaos, Julian. Injured men all around you, yet still in complete control and cool as a cucumber. One little baby with an ear infection, and you’re falling apart.”
“Those men were not my daughter,” I pointed out. “And they never made the noises she does.”
She patted my shoulder. “You’re a good daddy, Julian. She’ll be fine. Her fever is lower, but her ears hurt and her tummy is upset.”
“She poops all the time.”
“Again, her tummy is upset. Give it another day, and the improvement will be huge.”
“And if it’s not?”
“Bring her back to the hospital.”
She spoke with Tally, then left, leaving me as frustrated and anxious as before she arrived. I went to the guest room where Tally held Julianna, rocking and humming.
“I’ll take her for a bit. You rest.”
She hesitated, and I took Julianna from her. “She needs you to be strong. Sofia says by tomorrow we should see a lot of improvement. She’ll be hungry. I got in soup from the café. Eat it and lie down.”
I walked with Julianna, holding her over my good shoulder. I stroked her back, making low noises in my throat. I didn’t want to scare her by trying to sing. That would only make a bad situation worse. Tally looked up from her soup, watching us. I stopped across from her, smiling in reassurance.
“Eat, baby,” I encouraged her.
I was shocked when I saw tears forming in her eyes. “No, Tally, please. She’ll be fine.” I sat beside her, smoothing my hand over her hair. “Everything is going to be fine.”
“I don’t know how I would have done this without you.”
I shook my head. “Probably far better than with me. I’m not very good—”
I was cut off when Julianna spit up, the wet running down my back. Then she filled her diaper to capacity. Overfilled, really. The surplus ran down my shirt, the smell making me gag.
Tally looked startled, and I stared down at the mess on my shirt, flummoxed. I ran a hand through my hair, realizing too late that was a mistake when I felt that the same shit on my shirt was now in my hair.
“I think our daughter is in agreement with me,” I said dryly.
Tally started to laugh. Huge peals of amusement burst from her lips. I stood, shaking my head.
“You find me covered in shit amusing, Tally?” I asked, trying not to laugh with her.
“I never imagined I would see the cool, in-control Julian Grayson looking the way you do right now,” she admitted between more guffaws.
I caught sight of myself in the mirror on the opposite wall. My shirt was untucked and wrinkled. Covered in baby shit. My hair was everywhere and plastered with the same. I knew the back was wet from spit-up. I stank terribly, and Julianna kept moving, causing more leakage.
I started to chuckle, giving in to the amusement of the situation.
“Finish your soup and lie down. Julianna and I are going for a shower. We both need it.”
Her amusement followed me all the way down the hall.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Julian
The shower seemed to calm Julianna. I lingered in it, keeping the water warm but not overly hot, the steam seeming to soothe her. Her eyes drifted shut, and she fell asleep. I wrapped her in a large towel and laid her on the bench as I washed off, keeping one hand on her. I was proud of myself as I dried her off, slipped on a fresh diaper and a onesie, all while she slept.
Tally watched from the bed, then held out her arms. I tucked Julianna beside her. “She’s asleep, so you sleep,” I whispered.
“You need rest too.”
“Later.” Without thinking, I bent and kissed her forehead. “You’re more important. Rest.”
Sofia was right, and the next twenty-four hours brought with them a big change. Julianna’s fever disappeared, and it was obvious she felt better. Her wide, gummy smile appeared again. She ate. And she showered with me three more times. She loved the water all around her, and I loved bonding with her, making up silly games, and yes, even singing to her. I did it really quietly so Tally couldn’t hear me. Julianna liked it, though—I could tell.