Ecstasy (Notorious 4)

“That is because…I mistook you for someone else.”

“Someone else?” There was a sharp edge to his voice that Kell recognized as jealousy. Raven was a virgin, he would swear to it, but that didn’t preclude her from giving out other sexual favors freely. “Then you admit you’ve had other lovers?”

“No, not exactly. Not…a real lover.”

His eyebrow shot up. “Perhaps you should explain.”

“I don’t think you would understand.”

“Indulge me.”

Restlessly she moved over to the hearth and began to pace, still clenching her hands. “I’m not at all as experienced as you think me. I have never told anyone this before, but I…I created a lover in my fantasies.” Her cheeks flushed with evident embarrassment, she cast him a swift glance as if to see the effect of her confession.

“Do go on. I am fascinated. Why would you have need to create a lover when there are doubtless scores of men who would jump at the chance to fulfill that role for you?” Kell asked skeptically.

“Because…as I’m sure you know…well-bred ladies cannot take real lovers without risking disgrace.” She hesitated, looking more discomposed than he’d ever seen her. “And because, well, it is much safer that way. One cannot truly fall in love with a fantasy.”

“And falling in love concerns you?”

“Well, yes.” She seemed actually flustered by his questions.

“So you invented an imaginary lover?”

“Yes,” she admitted with obvious reluctance. Her voice dropped to a mere murmur. “A pirate, in fact.”

Kell found himself at a loss for words; once again Raven had startled him with her uniqueness. He thought back to the previous night, remembering how she had addressed him, calling him “my pirate.” She had evidently mistaken him for her lover-which might explain her eagerness but not her unmistakable sexual experience.

“You must have a very vivid imagination,” he said finally. “But that doesn’t explain how you learned the carnal skills you practiced on me last night. You knew precisely how to arouse me.”

“Well, if you must know…” Her flush deepened. “I have a book-a rare book-an erotic journal written by a Frenchwoman who was once captured by Turkish corsairs. It is the tale of her grand passion and is quite…enlightening about carnal matters. My mother left the journal in her personal effects for me to have when I was old enough.”

“Your mother?”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

Kell stared at her. Her answer was just far-fetched enough that he could almost believe she hadn’t made it up out of whole cloth. “Then educate me. Why would your mother want you to be enlightened about carnal matters?”

“Because she meant the book to be a warning to me,” Raven replied uneasily. “Before I was born, my mother fell in love with someone entirely inappropriate. She spent her life futilely nursing her obsession, but in her final days, she grew to lament wasting her life away on her grand passion. By leaving me the book, she intended to remind me of the devastating effect love can have. That love is like a potent drug. It can take over your sanity, destroy common sense and logic. A woman who loves has no power over her life.” Involuntarily Raven clenched her fists. “I vowed long ago I would never follow in her footsteps.”

She glanced at Kell to see how he was receiving her explanation. The expression in his black eyes was shielded by his long lashes.

“And you are worried that you might fall in love with me?” he asked slowly.

“Well…I…” Raven found herself stammering at having her biggest fear stated so baldly. “I don’t wish to fall in love with you-or any other man, for that matter-or for you to fall for me, as your brother claims to have done.”

She saw a muscle tighten in Kell’s jaw at the reminder of their present circumstances. “I suspect there is little danger of us falling in love. Ours is a marriage of convenience, nothing more. I have no intention of joining the legions of men who have succumbed to your charms.”

“I assure you, I don’t wish you to succumb,” Raven said rather tartly, feeling defensive once more.

“What is this, vixen? Wounded vanity?”

At the edge of mockery in his tone, she bristled. “I wouldn’t be wounded in the least if you forgot about my existence altogether.”

“I shall strive to do just that-immediately after we consummate our union.”

That made Raven abruptly fall silent. In the interval, her new husband began to remove his shirt. She watched as he revealed a torso sleekly ridged with muscle, his chest lightly furred with whorls of black hair.

Assaulted by a fresh attack of nerves at the imminent prospect of seeing him naked, she worried her lower lip. “You don’t have to undress entirely, do you?”