Desire (Notorious 3)

Just this morning she had dreamed of Wycliff, of his death. Even if she wanted to accept his proposal of marriage, she couldn’t simply ignore her dark premonition, could she?

Chapter Four

Brynn couldn’t simply ignore Lord Wycliff’s proposal either, for Gray questioned her about it that evening after dinner. Theo, as usual, had escaped to his dungeon directly following the sweets, leaving his older brother and sister alone in the smaller dining room close to the kitchen, where they took their meals these days to save work for their few servants.

Brynn could see Gray eyeing her speculatively, as if preparing his thoughts for a discussion beyond the polite small talk that had pervaded dinner. Fearing the subject matter, she sipped her wine and waited. Silence reigned.

Meals were much quieter now without their three other brothers at home. Arthur and Stephen, two years and three younger than Brynn respectively, had joined the Royal Navy shortly before their father perished and their finances plunged so drastically. And last year eighteen-year-old Reese had set out to make his fortune in the merchant marine.

Thus far, of all the brothers, Reese had suffered the most from their father’s disastrous investments. There had been no money for him to purchase a naval commission or even attend university, as the older boys had done. Not that that dismayed Reese, however, since he was the least studious of all the brothers. But Theo would be devastated to be denied the opportunity-

“Brynn?”

She gave a start at having her distracted thoughts interrupted.

Gray smiled faintly. “It is not like you to be woolgathering so deeply that you fail even to hear me.”

“I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked you twice what answer you gave Wycliff.”

She winced as Gray finally introduced the subject she dreaded. “I refused him, of course.”

“Did you even give his proposal consideration? Wycliff is one of the most eligible bachelors in England.”

“Perhaps so, but I have no interest in marrying him.”

“Why not?”

“There are a dozen reasons.”

Grayson’s jaw tightened, but for a moment he merely regarded her silently over his wineglass. When at last he spoke, his voice held an unusual edge of bitterness. “You might think of your family before you blithely throw away this opportunity to deliver us from debt.”

The unfairness of the accusation made Brynn catch her breath. She opened her mouth to respond, but Gray began a strange tirade, all the more forceful for its quiet delivery.

“I for one am tired of scraping for a living, Brynn. This house is falling down around our ears because we cannot afford repairs. I can barely manage to keep up the fishing ketch and pay the crew, which is our sole livelihood. We owe enormous sums. The moneylender is pressing for repayment of his loans, issuing veiled threats… I could be tossed into debtors’ prison at any moment.”

Brynn bit her tongue. There was no point in reminding Gray that she was doing her best to help him repay their loans. She understood his desperation. The humiliation of being so deeply in hock, of having to sell precious family heirlooms and dismiss beloved employees. The guilt of being unable to provide for his family. The gnawing worry, wondering how to ensure their survival from day to day.

And Gray had made his share of sacrifices. Most hurtfully, he’d had to abandon his own marital aspirations and watch the young lady he admired wed another gentleman.

“I have turned down other proposals,” Brynn said when he was through, “and you never objected before.”

“None were as advantageous as this. You will not find a better catch than Wycliff.”

“You make it sound as if he were a fish.”

Grayson only scowled at her lame attempt at humor.

“You know very well,” Brynn pointed out, “that I cannot leave Theo. At least not until his future is secure.”

“His future would be thoroughly secure if you married Wycliff. He has offered to fund Theo’s schooling. We could hire the best possible tutors or send him to school- Faith, Wycliff is wealthy enough to bu

y an entire school, for that matter. And you would no longer have to play at being a governess.”

That stung, considering the effort she had put into teaching her youngest brother. Brynn drew a steadying breath, willing herself to patience. “I’m not certain Theo is ready to attend school. Boys there can be so cruel.”

“Perhaps, but it could be the making of him. He is far too studious as it is. And you cannot keep him sheltered his entire life, the way you’ve done thus far.”