Desire (Notorious 3)

Brynn looked down at her glass. They had frequently argued about her overprotectiveness. She was as watchful of Theo as any mother could be, since she had raised him from his first breath.

“It is easy for you to advocate my wedding Wycliff,” Brynn said quietly. “You are not the one who would have to become his wife.”

Gray surveyed her with all seriousness. “He seems like an amiable enough sort. And I doubt you find his appeal objectionable, considering how the ladies swoon over him.”

“His appeal is a large part of the problem, Gray. I… I dreamed about him last night. I saw him dying.”

Her brother stared at her. “Perhaps it is only a coincidence.”

“You know very well it is not. I don’t want the responsibility of causing his death. I couldn’t bear the guilt.”

“Merely because you wed him doesn’t mean you would cause his death. You would simply have to discipline yourself not to develop any affection for him.”

That might be easier said than done, Brynn thought darkly. The attraction she felt for Wycliff already was nigh irresistible. “I am not willing to take the risk.”

“He seems willing enough.”

“I know. He scoffed when I warned him what could happen.” She made a sound of frustration. “Why can’t he simply believe me? If not for the curse, he would not even be pursuing me. Certainly he would never have proposed marriage. He knows nothing about me, nothing about our illicit activities. I doubt he would want a Free Trader for his countess if he knew the truth. But I didn’t think it wise to reveal my involvement.”

“No, that would have indeed been unwise,” Gray agreed, frowning. “I learned only today that Wycliff works for the Foreign Office.”

“What do you mean, works?”

“He is employed by the British government.”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “Why would a nobleman with his reputed fortune need employment?”

“I hardly think he needs it,” Grayson retorted. “And I have no idea why. For the challenge of it, I presume. Whatever the reason, he is quite powerful in government circles. He’s not someone I would like to thwart.”

“Well, his sense of power is another thing I find maddening. He very much enjoys throwing his weight around. I’ve rarely met a man so arrogant. He thinks he can simply command me to wed him and I will eagerly obey.”

Gray eyed her with a hint of sympathy. “I can understand that your pride would be offended. Mine is as well. But you cannot forget how dire our situation is.”

Chagrined by his gentle tone, Brynn bit her lip. Pride had always been one of her chief faults, and it was humiliating to have to swallow it. She hated being so powerless, so dependent on someone else’s whims. “I have not forgotten our situation. But I resent his lordship’s presumption that his wealth can buy my submission. He thinks he simply can purchase me to bear his children. I am not for sale.”

“He wants sons, Brynn. What man does not?”

She remained stubbornly silent.

“Are you saying that you don’t want children of your own?”

She earnestly wanted children of her own, but she had resigned herself to a barren life, telling herself she would be content devoting herself to raising Theo. “No, I am not saying that. But I certainly don’t want them to be sired by Wycliff. Just think how I would feel if I murdered my own children’s father.”

“I expect you could manage to avoid murder,” Gray said dryly.

“This is hardly a joking matter, Grayson!”

“Of course it isn’t. I’m sorry.” When she remained silent, he spoke again. “Did you consider that once we are free of debt, I will no longer have to engage in smuggling? Nor would Theo.”

That made Brynn sit up. “You would stop taking him out with you? ”

“Yes, of course. You know very well I pressed him into service only because I needed help managing my crews with all our brothers gone. And it is better to learn the trade at a young age. But I cannot give up our one source of income until I settle our debts.” Gray held her gaze steadily. “I thought that keeping Theo from the Free Trade was your most earnest desire.”

“Of course it is. I don’t want him to have anything to do with smuggling, or the sea. He isn’t cut out for such physical danger. He becomes ill every time you take him out-”

Gray cut short her familiar diatribe. “Then you should be grateful to Wycliff for the chance to spare Theo the danger.”

Perhaps she should indeed be grateful, Brynn acknowledged. “You truly think I should marry Wycliff?”