I snap back to reality. “What?”
She looks at me puzzled. “Is there something going on that you’re not telling me about?” She’s worried, I can tell by the way her look softens.
“No. Why?”
“You’ve been acting weird all summer. I thought you still might have been upset and distracted because of everything that happened with your parents. But some days you seem fine about that. So I wanna know what’s up and why you’re still acting weird.”
I smile and take her hand. “Rose. I’m fine. I swear. Thanks for being such a good friend.”
It sucks that I’m not. It sucks that I’m selfish and want and need to keep everything involving my relationship with Henry to myself.
Rosa shakes her head. “I’m worried about you, Ry. You don’t return my calls or texts. And you seem so distant.”
“Ro, I promise you—I”
The words catch in my throat as Henry’s voice fills my ears. He brushes past our table with Callie. “I love you, babe,” he tells her. Then he places a soft kiss on her cheek.
No. Those lips, those full and beautiful lips belong to me. The same lips connected to his mouths that tell me they miss me and how much they love me. The same soft lips that have kissed every inch of me and leave me so hungry for just another peck that I weep. I can’t handle this. I’m going to fall a part. I’m going to cause a scene in the middle of the cafeteria. I have to get out. I have to go somewhere. I can’t be around them.
“What?” asks Rosa.
The room is spinning. I’m either losing my mind or I’m about to be sick. I shoot up from my seat and I can’t decide whether to scream out hysterically or throw up. “I don’t feel so hot.”
My stomach twists and churns and I’m drenched in sweat. I glare at Henry and he doesn’t notice me. Of course he doesn’t notice me. I’m not her. I’m a fucked up fabrication, an illusion of a relationship, a secretive affair. And for the first time ever, I loathe him for making me feel this way.
I loathe him for always putting me second.
“Are you okay, Ry?” Rosa starts to get up. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No.”
I take one last look at Henry, and bolt from the cafeteria.
The icy water from the faucet in the girl’s bathroom eases the heat out of my body as I place my freezing hands on my neck. I lift my head and wipe my tearstained cheeks. I let out a long ragged breath. I’m calm. Well, I appear clam on the outside, but on the inside I’m stuck in limbo and I feel like I’m being pulled in numerous directions.
I hear Henry. “Shhh. You know I love you, but this is our secret.”
Next I hear Rosa. “Ry, please tell me what’s wrong.”
Lastly, I hear a blended voice—a mixture of Callie’s voice and my own. “He loves me….He loves you not.”
I’m so confused and tortured. Who do I listen to? What do I do?
&nbs
p; Do I betray Henry, the boy I love? Even though I’m furious with him, just saying his name in my head makes my insides swirl. Or do I keep lying to my best friend and hope that she’ll forgive when she eventually finds out what I’m keeping from her? I know she’ll find out because I’m on the verge of cracking. Breaking. Shattering. And I don’t care about the mess I make at this point.
I’ve got to leave. I need to go home, to get away from Henry, to get away from Callie and her sour face. And Rosa and her fifty million questions. I want and need to be alone. I want and need to figure out how I’m going to get rid of my infection, my obsession, and my love for Henry.
Chapter 11
“Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.” ~ George Bernard Shaw ~
In the office, Mrs. Gephart, the petite, elderly secretary greets me with a warm smile. “Riley, dear, what can I do for you?”
Her voice is pleasant and soft and the sound of it brings a half-smile to my lips. “Yeah, Mrs. Gephart, I’m not feeling well. I need to call my Mom so I can get permission to go home.”
“One second, dear.” Mrs. Gephart reaches under the counter and pulls out a black rolodex. She hums a catchy tune as she shuffles through the circular phonebook.