Dear Love, I Hate You (Easton High)

The thought restores my capacity to hope. Then I steal a glance toward Xavier and Brie. He’s holding her close, strong arms enveloping her thin waist.

The hopeful glimmer in my chest dies instantly.

“Would you look at that? It’s get fucked-up o’clock,” I hear Finn say before he swipes a sip of tequila right out of the bottle. “Ladies?” he offers, driving the tequila bottle closer to us.

“You know Vee doesn’t drink,” Dia reminds him, grabbing the bottle of liquor and drawing a small sip.

Against my better judgment, I steal another glance at Xav and his girlfriend. Terrible decision. Just like that, all the promises I made myself since the night I lost my dad disappear down the drain.

“Actually, I’ll have some,” I surprise them by saying.

Dia’s eyes snap open. “A-Are you sure?”

I snatch the bottle from her hands, the sound of my heart disintegrating in my rib cage echoing in my ears.

“Damn sure.”

* * *

“Are you okay?” Dia asks me for the thousandth time in two hours, breaking the world record for most worried friend. I really was okay the first hundred times she asked.

And the second.

And the third.

But… it all went downhill from there.

It might have something to do with me finishing Finn’s tequila bottle, then playing four games of beer pong. My head is spinning, my speech slurred and my vision blurry, but I feel good.

Well… better.

“I’m fine, D. Stop worrying.”

Dia nods unconvincingly, focusing on the beer pong game at play. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t gag my way through Finn’s tequila bottle, but no matter how painful my throat felt, no matter how intense the burning got, I kept going.

Bit by bit, the clouds over my head cleared up, along with the feeling of having been stabbed in the chest repeatedly.

I get it, Dad.

I get why you liked it.

“Drink up, Vee,” Theo laughs when the ball lands into our last red cup. He and Finn high-five each other, celebrating their victory, while Dia and I wallow in defeat. The boys have been owning our asses since game number one.

“Want to go again?” Finn smirks at Dia, and she shakes her head, gripping my arm.

“Nope, we’ve had enough.”

It doesn’t take a degree to figure out she’s talking about me.

“We’re next!” a high-pitched voice squeals on my left. I whisk my head to find Brie and Xavier standing by the beer pong table. Brie is holding on to Xav’s bicep for balance, drunk as a skunk. The dazed smile slips off her lips the moment she sees me. “Why the fuck is she still here?”

“Don’t fucking start, Brie,” Finn growls.

Paying Finn no mind, Brie releases her grasp on Xavier’s arm and staggers over to me. She stops inches away from me, looking me up and down with a hatred that makes my skin crawl.

“No one wants you here, freak. Actually, allow me to rephrase: no one wants you period. Not me, not my boyfriend—” She strikes me in the shoulder, and I stumble back in shock. “—not even your own damn father.”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, I see red.