“Jane, you look fab today.” I smile widely. “Your hair looks incredible.”
“Oh, don’t you dare lie to me. It looks like crap. I just managed to brush it, that’s all. You’re just so used to it being a bush, that’s all it is.” She runs her fingers through her smooth hair. “But thanks. Not that there’s any reason to dress up in here. It isn’t like anyone will see me, is it?”
“I don’t know,” I tease. “Doctor Brady is quite cute, isn’t he?”
Jane laughs. “Don’t be crazy. He’s far too old for me. Have you lost your damn mind? Should I be the one finding older men that I wouldn’t normally like strangely attractive because I haven’t seen anyone for so long?”
“Yeah, well… maybe I like an older man. You don’t know, do you?”
We laugh for a little while longer, and it feels amazing. Having a happy time with Jane is all I want. I know we need these memories to treasure. Hopefully for the future when she’s out of here and we can look back and recall that it wasn’t all utterly terrible while she was sick.
But then Jane’s face turns serious. “Speaking of Doctor Brady… I see he spoke to you about some stuff?”
I can almost feel the color draining from my skin. “He talked to you, did he?”
I already knew that this was coming, there was no way that I could get away without facing this, but I was hoping that it would be me who could control the conversation. Now it could easily spiral out of hand.
“Yes. He has been talking to me about a treatment plan that I already turned down.”
“I… yes, well he talked to me about the treatment as well. I don’t think he wants you to turn it down…”
“I’ve turned it down because I have to. I can’t pay for it.”
“But what about me?” I touch her hand gently. “You didn’t even give me a chance to know about it.”
“Because I am already a burden on you. I don’t want to be more.”
I gasp, shocked. “I can’t believe you’re even thinking about that. You are not a burden to me. You’re my sister. I want to help, you aren’t even giving me a chance. Wouldn’t you want to help me?”
“And wouldn’t you try to stop me if you thought that it would be a nightmare?”
I narrow my eyes angrily. “Jane, this isn’t fair. You can’t ask me that question. I couldn’t help Mom. You couldn’t either, we weren’t old enough. Didn’t you find that frustrating? Now, I can help you…”
“You can’t, Lexi. You don’t have the money to help me, you can’t afford it…”
“Jane, this could save you. It could help you get a better life.” I don’t tell her that it can save her life, but the meaning is there. “Jane, you need this. You have to. It would be crazy not to.”
She rolls her eyes almost to the back of her head. “It doesn’t matter how much it could help me. None of it matters. It’s completely unaffordable. I am not putting that much pressure on you.”
“But Doctor Brady told you, right? I have already sorted it.”
“He said that you have set up a payment plan, but I told him to cancel it.”
“Jane, don’t be stubborn. I have done it. It isn’t to be worried about anymore. And this isn’t a burden, I have a new job. The pay is really good. I can afford it now.”
“New job? Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“I only just got it, that’s why.” I shrug. “I had the interview yesterday and I start tomorrow.”
“Wow, that’s great.” Jane sits up straighter in the bed. “So, what is the job?”
I can’t tell her that there might be some sexual favors, that it could essentially be prostitution because she will freak out. It would crush her to know what I’m doing – even if she finds out that it’s the guy she suggested could be ‘a lot of fun’ when she heard about the date ruining nightmare – but that still won’t stop me. I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure that there is a glimmer of hope. I can’t just sit aside and let Jane wilt away in here, knowing that there’s something I could have done to help her. Even if it means acting completely out of character. It doesn’t matter when there’s a way I can make Jane better.
“It’s a personal assistant job at a marketing company.”
“And it pays that well? Must be one hell of a company. It sounds like the job will be really hard.”
My guard rises high, I don’t want to get too deep into this conversation. I can’t let her ask me too many questions because it’s difficult for me to keep this inside. My eyes dart all around the room, I can look at anything but at Jane. I’m sure she knows that I’m avoiding her for a reason, I just hope she doesn’t push it.