He feels hopeless, I know it. He wants to know what’s going on with me, what’s happening with us, what is going to go on next… but I don’t have answers for him right now. I would love to give him answers.
“Right, well I better go.” I rise to my feet. “I have to…”
“Be somewhere, yes I know. You always do.”
He’s disappointed with me, just as I am with myself, but that’s the way it needs to be right now. I have to put Jane first, however much it means putting myself in the background. And that’s fine. It’s where I want to be.
“Why are you still here?” Jane asks me in a groggy tone of voice. “Shouldn’t you be home now?”
I glance at the clock. Visiting hours ended ages ago and I’m tired as hell. “No, I should be here.”
“Don’t you have a life? Something of your own that you need to do?”
I grab her hand. “No way, I don’t want to be anywhere but here. With you, looking after you.”
She turns onto her side and lets out a little chuckle. “I’m sleeping. Most of the time actually. Or puking. I don’t need you here for that. I have plenty of medical health professionals for that.”
“But I’m your sister. I want to be here for you.”
“You’re okay. You shouldn’t be in the hospital all the time. You’re the one who isn’t sick, you should be out living a normal life. Having fun, dating some hot guy, not Will though.”
I laugh, recalling everything about that terrible date… the date that led me to meet Isaac. If that hadn’t happened, I probably wouldn’t be working for him now. I definitely wasn’t his first choice of hiring for sure.
“I have plenty of time for dating, right now I want to be with you.”
“Lexi. I’m serious. I don’t want you here all the time. I want you to be out there having fun. I want you to come here with stories for me, not just gifts. Please, do this for me.”
I roll my eyes. “This is just the meds talking. You’d miss me too much.”
“No, Lexi, I will be fine. I’m a tough bitch. I can handle anything.”
“I know you are but still… you’d have been here for me.”
“Lexi, I’m just asking you to think about it. That’s all.”
I purse my lips tightly together, refusing to argue any further. I can do whatever the hell I want. And what I want is to be here with my sister, making her life bearable. Maybe I will relax a little, be a little late now and again, showing a bit of effort like I’m listening to her advice.
Get a life. If only it was that simple.
Chapter Eighteen
Isaac
“This is bullshit,” my heart racing angrily and I mutter to myself. “Fuck, what a mess.”
This project is falling apart, it’s a nightmare, and the deadline is today. No matter what. But it needs to be completed before midnight, which means it’s going to be a seriously late night for me. I can’t let this slide; my father is proud of me for the first time in a very long time, despite the fuck up I made with the business meeting which hasn’t caused as much negativity as I first assumed. Charlie hasn’t even mentioned Lexi working here for a while, which I’m going to take as a good sign, like she’s going to stay. But this might be a step too far.
“What’s going on?” I glance up to see Lexi staring at me, actually engaging with me for the first time in what feels like forever. “You look seriously stressed. Has something happened?”
“Oh, nothing.” I need to play it down. I know that she’s going through something, it’s so obvious. She doesn’t need this on top of everything else. “Just a project gone a bit wrong, that’s all. Nothing I can’t fix.”
“What is it?” She moves closer and leans over the desk. “Oh, I see. That is a do
ozy.”
“It doesn’t matter, it isn’t too much of an issue for me. I can sort it.”
I try to smile but my lips don’t make much more than a thin line. I guess I can’t stuff my feelings down as much as I would like. It’d be incredible to play this down right now, but it’s fucked up.