“Okay, well I can stay a bit to help you. Sort this out. You can’t do it alone.”
This takes me aback. “But don’t you have somewhere to be? You’re always rushing out of here.”
Her face contorts, she looks pained, but she smooths it down, hiding her feelings better than I could. “I know, but tonight I can stay for a bit. I am your personal assistant, aren’t I? That’s my job.”
“But if you… have things that you need to do, then really I will be fine.”
“I am staying,” she tells me determinedly. “I will help you.”
I can still see that she has somewhere else to be, that she doesn’t totally want to stay, but selfishly the fact that she’s offering means she will be around me, and I need that. I’ve missed her while she’s been distant. I’ve been trying to tell myself that it isn’t anything to do with me, but it’s hard to convince myself of that. It’s a challenge not to take it personally, when all I want is to be with her all the damn time.
“Okay great, well we will get it done as quickly as we can. Let you get out of here fast enough.”
She gets that distracted look in her eyes, I can tell that mentally she isn’t here, but it’s enough.
We work together well, Lexi has some surprisingly good ideas since she doesn’t come from a marketing background. But perhaps that’s a good thing. Maybe she isn’t polished, and her rawness helps. She sees things in a different way than the people that I’m used to working with… and that makes me like her even more.
God, I didn’t think that it was possible to like her more than I already do… but I do.
I try to push that down while we work, so I can just focus on the task at hand, because this really does need to get done, but it’s so difficult. Little sweet moments that we have shared keep popping into my mind. Us kissing, making love, and laughing together. Unfortunately, Lexi is so clearly distracted that she isn’t thinking in the same way. Her head is in a different place.
“Do you need to go?” I ask her curiously. “Because we are about done here.”
“Oh no, not yet.” She checks her watch though. “I’m okay. I’m here until the end because I want to get this done.”
Her face falls, and it aches in my chest that she isn’t opening up to me. I so want her to, it nearly makes me want to push her, but I can’t. I have to try and be patient, allow her to open up to me when she wants to. I have to allow her to be ready. It sucks, but it’s the best thing for both of us.
Then the tense moment is shattered by the sound of her stomach growling so loudly I can’t help but laugh.
“Sorry.” Her cheeks stain red. “I guess I was a bit distracted today, I forgot to eat lunch.”
“Let me order some dinner. I’m sure we both need it.” I grab my phone. “What do you like?”
“But… don’t we need to get all of this done first? I can just get something later?”
“No, no, it will take a little bit to get here anyway, so we can finish up then. It’ll be fine.”
She looks like she might protest for a moment, but finally, she nods. “I like Japanese or Mexican food.”
I smile and put in the order, watching her out from the corner of my eye as she continues to work. She is diligent and sweet. I want to hold her close to my chest and make her feel so much better. She catches me looking at her and grins, which warms up my heart. At least I’m managing to make her feel better for now. It might not be a lot, but it’s better than nothing.
We sit on the floor in the office, like it’s a picnic rather than a work dinner. Admittedly, I haven’t eaten in the office many times before, because there aren’t many times that I’ve been here for long enough, but I’m sure it shouldn’t be like this. But just being with Lexi, everything feels absolutely perfect.
“Wow, I was hungrier than I thought,” she giggles. “Looking at it, I’m starving.”
“Well, I’m glad that I got a lot then. I’m starving myself as well. We’ll be fighting over it in a moment.”
I even have wine here, so I pour us both a glass. Thankfully, Lexi sees that we deserve it, because we’re here so late. She takes it gratefully and clinks her glass against mine before taking a sip.
“Well, we did a kick ass job today, didn’t we? Got it all sent off. Hopefully, it’s okay.”
“Oh, it will be. Trust me. It’ll be fine. What we did was great.”
She nods slowly, before digging in. We eat in silence for a few moments, both of us too hungry to speak. Its been a long day for both of us, so this minute of quietness is lovely. A sense of calm overcomes us both, which I didn’t think that I would see today. Only Lexi can bring that out in me.
“You’re good at this,” she surprises me by saying aloud. “This marketing thing, I mean.”
“Well, I would hope so. Since I’m a manager here.” I laugh. “It would suck if I wasn’t.”